So, that was my view of married couples.

‘Mr Sharpe … should I come back later?’

‘No, what is it?’ He opened the fly door.

‘A net.’

‘What for?’

‘Me and Curtis … the cats.’

‘Follow me.’ He walked out to the shed, switched on a light and went in. ‘It’s here somewhere.’

I waited as he searched a dark corner.

‘What, she complaining about me, I suppose?’ he said.

‘Sort of.’

‘I was entitled to say what I did, Clem.’

‘You upset David.’

‘I can’t be responsible …’ He checked the rafters. ‘Maybe I got a bit worked up, but that doesn’t change things.’ Clearing his throat, he spat into the darkness. ‘They’re wild. Sisters rootin’ brothers, and their mum. One instinct: kill. All the birds I see lyin’ on the lawn.’

‘They were pretty upset.’

He found a torch, turned it on, and moved around.

‘That David, he’s …’ But thought better of it. ‘And as for that horse’s hoof.’

‘Peter?’

‘You ever seen him with a girl? Woulda been one, surely, after all these years.’

‘I don’t reckon. I think he just likes his own company.’

‘Perhaps. Although they keep it well hidden, Clem.’

I couldn’t believe it. There were a lot of other explanations, but that one made the least sense. ‘Woulda had a boyfriend, wouldn’t he?’

‘Well, he wouldn’t be parading him down Lanark Avenue. They meet in clandestine places.’

It was a funny thought. Peter paying the rent. ‘He told me he was engaged once.’

‘He never was.’

‘Yeah.’ I started searching piles of tools that hadn’t been used in decades, metal offcuts, courtesy of Gary. ‘But he never talks about her.’

‘I never heard nothin’ and I’ve been livin’ next door to him for years.’

‘You should ask him.’

But he just made his you-don’t-know-the-half-of-it face. ‘Well, maybe not a poof, but strange.’

‘But you called him one.’

‘I never did.’

‘You did, I heard.’ It wasn’t my job to lecture Ernie, but he seemed to want to hear. Perhaps he trusted my opinion.

‘I shouldn’ta said that, I suppose.’ He sat down to rest, and think. ‘He’s not a bad fella, as such.’

I sat next to him. ‘And Val’s okay?’

‘Well … She did a bloody good job, bringing them up. Not too many women …’ He turned to me, half-worried. ‘I didn’t say anything too bad, did I?’

‘You pushed her.’

‘No?’

‘You did.’

He dropped his head and studied the concrete. ‘I should say sorry. But she’s the one with the cats.’

‘And she’s agreed to my plan.’

‘I wasn’t too nasty?’

‘You called her a few names.’

‘Well … she’s never been the sort to come in with a cake. But she’s always in your place, and that upsets Ida.’

‘Maybe she’s scared of you?’

‘You scared of me, Clem?’

‘No.’

‘There you go. Ida’s tried to be friendly, but no, hardly a word.’

‘You should take her a cake. Change your ways.’