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Contents (19)

‘Is that so?’

His chair went lurching back. The ceiling had an ugly stippled plaster that reminded him of home – of rooms he’d waited in before. School corridors. The nurse’s office. Church. He was laid too flat to see the mirror past his feet, but he could hear the great man in the space behind him, whistling in a breath, expecting more. Sincerity and courage – these weren’t easy to sustain. ‘Honestly, I never would’ve come this far without my sister,’ he began, and numbed himself to add the rest. ‘She passed away last year, but that’s just made me even more determined to succeed from this point on.’ As soon as this came out, he felt no hollower, but lighter. He lay back with his throat bared while the barber whipped the soap, and didn’t think about the razor. Everything that hurt had already been cut.

Acknowledgements

Thank you to my editor, Mary Mount, for vital insights on each draft and her confidence in this novel from the very beginning. Thank you to my agent, Judith Murray, for all her help and reassuring wisdom; to Karishma Jobanputra, Lesley Levene and the whole team at Penguin Viking; to Gráinne Fox, Toby Moorcroft, Kate Rizzo and everyone at Greene & Heaton. Thank you to Ruth Padel for her kindness and encouragement at a crucial time, and to Alan Read for raising my morale as I approached the final stages. Thank you to King’s College London and my colleagues in the English department; to Peter Irving for his care beyond the call of duty; to Neil, Lynn and Kate Paternoster, Nicholas Wood and Katy Haldenby, and Peter and Caroline Hesz for much support along the way. Endless thanks are due to Adam Robinson for being there every Friday evening for the last two years, and to Lata Sahonta for the same. Thank you to my sons, Isaac and Oren, for every single moment. And to my wife, Steph, who lived this book with me and understands my heart completely – thank you for it all.

THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

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First published by Viking in 2022

The moral right of the author has been asserted

Epigraph from Frank Lloyd Wright: An Autobiography used courtesy of the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation, Scottsdale, AZ, USA