“I’m all right. For now. But there’s a festival coming up, and soon. In, oh, about thirteen hours.”

“I know. Believe me, I mark that stuff on my calendar.” She sat in the wide, soft armchair in one corner and looked at the flowers with him.

“I picked up the sacraments on Meditreme. From the same priestess who’s provided them to me for the past decade. The leader of my congregation. Now she is gone. Dust dispersing into space. Along with all the other members of my faith. I was a bad adherent, in some ways. I rarely made it to the meetings, which is a shame, because that fellowship, taking comfort in one another, erasing the borders between our individual selves, is such an important part of our faith. I’ve always been just a little too self-contained. But I made it to the festivals, when I could, and as such I shared a togetherness with those people that I have shared with few others.”

“I’m so sorry you lost them, Stephen. I know you took a lot of comfort in the church.”

“Oh, yes. The faith saved me. When I was furious, disinherited, disowned, wandering, they showed me I could be part of something greater. A small part, of course, but not unimportant, because no one is unimportant. Then, when I joined your crew, and met Drake and Janice and Shall and even, believe it or not, Ashok, I knew just what great thing I was a part of. But the despair is always there, you know. It’s not just chemical, though that’s part of it. It’s existential. Philosophical. I think too much. That’s why, even after I found my place here, with you, I still kept the faith, however imperfectly. I long for that dissolution. I long for the feeling of peace and belonging it brings. But we are lost, and soon to embark on a time of terrors, and so I cannot. And the despair looms up.”

“I know. But we’ll go fast. After we get to the alien station, I’m giving us a seven-hour window to complete operations. When the time is up, we go.”

“Just enough time for the bridge generator to become operational again?”

“Assuming we’re right about its recharge time, yes. If that little Liar is right, the less time we spend on an Axiom base, the better.”

“We will almost certainly die in the attempt.”

“Death doesn’t scare you, Stephen. You always say ‘Why fear death?’ You won’t be around to be bothered by your own non-existence.’”

“Death does not frighten me, no, at least not in the abstract. I do fear suffering greatly, however, and it sounds like Elena’s people suffered, and Lantern’s certainly did.”