“I didn’t flip out on him,” Antonia protested.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like he took an interest in what you do by reading a book you recommended, and you’re angry because he made you think about your future?”

When Eddie said it like that, she felt only a tad mortified. “You weren’t there,” she tried to explain. “He was so sure that I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I’d think that would include almost having sex with him, right? If he doesn’t trust my judgement, maybe I shouldn’t bother with him.”

Eddie laughed. “That’s a lot to infer from a conversation about your novel. Are you sure you weren’t transferring some of your own baggage?”

Those sounded like Octavia’s words. And even though they made sense, she resented them. “This isn’t transference,” she said.

“I don’t know how you’d be so upset if it weren’t,” Eddie said. “Did it occur to you that he just might be a nice guy who cares? While I agree that he probably doesn’t know you well enough to say that you’re being sensitive, it sounds like he’s just concerned.”

Antonia paused to think. “You think I sound stupid.”

“No, but...” Eddie trailed off. “What’s that noise?”

“What noise?”

“Are you listening to ‘Formation’ right now?” Eddie’s tone was wary. “Is that what’s booming in your house?”

“I was angry listening to Beyoncé.”

Eddie at least had the decency to hold the phone away from his face before howling in laughter. “God, Toni. Why are you like this?”

“Because Solange was too mellow!”

“You’re not being stupid, but I think your Irish dude is right. You’re going to have to make a decision while you’re out there. Do you want to throw yourself back into a job that didn’t make you particularly happy or do you want to chase the thing you’re brilliant at?”

“But I don’t know if I’ll be brilliant at it,” she said. “Besides I’m on vacation; I should be resting.”

“But you’re not just on vacation. You’re in another country trying to find your new purpose. This is your Eat, Pray, Love for black girls.”

He was right and she knew it. Eddie succeeded in calming her down just enough to make her realize that she was being unreasonable. There was too much on the line for her to be in Ireland for a good time. In the time she was to spend here, she had to get honest with herself. Things would have to change when she got back to Chicago. “Alright,” she muttered.

“Alright, what?”

“Alright, I hear you,” she snapped. “But I’m not ready to talk to him. I’m still angry.”

“That’s okay too. But just so you know, he doesn’t sound like Derek. If you want to be angry at someone, it is supposed to be the asshole who cheated on you.”

Eddie’s words were like a sucker punch to her gut. “What else was I supposed to do to Derek?” she asked angrily. “I called off his stupid wedding, didn’t I?”