‘I know,’ she said.

‘You need some help.’

‘I know that too.’

She didn’t know if they were going to get past this. Deep down she wondered if she even wanted to. It was exhausting being married to Jack. He was the only man that she had ever really loved, the father of their four amazing children, but did he make her happy? Would she ever trust him or feel secure in their marriage? And would he ever trust her again, for that matter? Did she have the energy to fight for him, to fix the damage? She wasn’t sure anymore.

And then there was Sophie, who was probably only a few metres away from her now, in her own house, although there was far more than a brick wall dividing them. Her neighbour, her friend, who had never been anything but warm, generous and kind to her. How could she face her after what she had done? She hadn’t just destroyed her own marriage; she had destroyed Sophie’s too. Perhaps she had been slightly envious of Sophie and Alan’s happy marriage in the past but she felt no pleasure at being responsible for breaking it up.

She had to go and see Sophie, to get the inevitable confrontation out of the way, but every time she steeled herself, she found an excuse to delay it. They could never be friends again, that much was obvious, but could they survive living next door to each other? They had to find a way to make it work because Angie couldn’t bring herself to move house again. She almost laughed at the irony of the situation. She had insisted that they move to Finchley to get away from the bad memories, for a new start. But what Jack had done paled in comparison to what she had done. And when word got out, as it inevitably would, how could she look anyone in the eye at the school gates? Would rumours spread around school? Would her children find out about it? It didn’t bear thinking about, yet it was the reality that she knew she would probably have to face.

Bile rose in her throat and she rushed to the toilet in case she was sick. After retching a couple of times, she sat down on the cold, tiled floor of the bathroom. She contemplated making a gin and tonic even though it was only nine thirty in the morning. She almost did it but stopped herself at the last minute. Instead, she put the kettle on and gave herself a talking to.

Her life may have fallen apart, but she still had a family to look after. It was time to start putting herself back together, piece by piece. She had already called in sick at work and asked for a meeting with HR to discuss a sabbatical. She was going to look for counsellors today and make an appointment as soon as possible. She would give Jack a few days and then ask him to meet with her so they could start rummaging through the rubble of their marriage and see if there was anything worth salvaging. As for Benji and Indie, she’d make it up to them. She’d make it right.