‘There’s a very special person here who means the world to me.’ She stood in the middle of the dance floor and, shielding her eyes against the glare of the lights, peered around the room. ‘Me and him shared something special on Laid In Essex! but things haven’t been going too well for him lately.’

Abs winced inside. He wished she hadn’t said that, not in front of all these people.

‘Where are you, Abs?’ she called into the crowd. ‘I can’t see you, babes.’

‘Over here, Kelz.’ He lifted his hand modestly and everyone turned to look at him.

‘There you are.’ Kelz blew a kiss. ‘I want you to know, babes, that I’m always here for you. Because we’re soulmates.’

The audience went awwww and watched Abs closely for his reaction. He placed his hands together, as in heavenly devotion.

‘I’m sure you’ve all seen our little show, yeah?’ said Kelsey, and everyone whooped, like, Of course we have. ‘Back in the first episode all those years ago, me and Abs sung a song together at a karaoke bar, remember that, babes? You’re The One That I Want.’

Abs pretended to grease his hair. ‘Highlight of my life, Kelz.’

Everyone laughed. And Kelsey produced another microphone from behind her back. ‘What do you say, babes, wanna sing it again?’

This was more than Abs could have hoped for. Performing with Kelsey in front of a packed audience of industry folk – producers, commissioners, directors. But he didn’t want to leave Jez, unhappy and ready to run to the police.

‘Please stay there,’ he urged him in a frantic whisper, and then walked on to the dance floor.

‘DJ, please.’ Kelsey struck a pose and the familiar tune from Grease began to play.

They were both lousy singers – neither of them could hold a tune to save their lives – but they hammed it up. Abs doing the Travolta moves, and everyone in the crowd pissing themselves laughing, enjoying seeing the Golden Couple back together. He and Kelz went round the room, getting people to sing into the mic like they were bossing Lovebox. And who knew where it could lead, he thought, as someone tossed him a comb to rake through his hair like Danny Zuko.

Abs felt wanted. For the first time in a long time, he felt loved.

But as he was singing, he tried to spot Jez at the bar – and couldn’t find him. The beer bottle was there, but his stool was empty. There was nothing Abs could do about it now. He would just have to speak to Jez first thing in the morning, and stop him from ruining both their lives.

11

Slamming the front door shut, Sasha kicked off her shoes and threw her jacket over the banister. It missed and fell on the bottom stair. She could hear zombies tearing people apart on the television in the living room.

‘Hiya,’ called her husband, Kev, over the screams of terror.