‘Lols.’ Enlarging the image on the screen, Sasha hooked a finger at the detective constable. ‘What do you know about this Abs person?’

When Lolly saw the photo, she let out a screech, which Sasha thought was a little bit over the top.

‘Oh my God.’ Lolly’s big blue eyes widened. ‘I love Abs.’

‘Why’s he called Abs?’ asked Sasha. ‘Has he got big muscles, or what?’

‘It’s his catchphrase,’ said Lolly. ‘It means absolutely. Whenever someone asks him something on the show – like, are you good in bed? – he’ll give this cheeky grin and say, Abs, mate!’

On the other side of the room, Ajay lifted an eyebrow. ‘Who in polite society would ask a question like that?’

‘Wait, you haven’t even seen Laid In Essex!?’ Ajay didn’t have a television, and Lolly simply couldn’t get her head around the fact. ‘You must know Laid In Essex!’

‘I know of it, but I’ve never watched it.’

‘You’re having me on, mate.’ Lolly’s jaw fell open, as if she was affronted. ‘They’re always asking stuff like that. Do you fancy me? Do you think my dress is sexy? Will you stay the night?’

A few years back, Laid In Essex!, about the lives and loves of a group of socially mobile young people, was all anyone talked about. It was a TV sensation and its young cast became stars overnight.

Some worthies in the county complained that its revolving cast of highly sexed and largely uneducated young men and women, who fell in and out of love and in and out of bed with each other, portrayed Essex in a bad light, and as a result a generation of young women had been forever labelled as airhead ‘Essex Girls’, and young men as oversexed yobs. But one thing was for certain, it put Essex firmly on the cultural map.

Sasha had watched a couple of episodes with her daughter, Angel – ‘You will so love it, Mum’ – who gave her a running commentary about what was going on. Who was in love with who; which BFFs had fallen out; who was exploring their sexuality; and who was moving in on whose boyfriend/girlfriend. The episodes Sasha watched featured endless scenes of spray-tanned men and women meeting in bars, cafés and nightclubs to talk about why they broke up and to explore the possibility of getting back together, despite the fact they were currently dating other people.

Abs, Sasha knew, was one of the breakout stars of the show, and shared an addictive will they/won’t they onscreen partnership with LIE! vixen Kelsey DeMarco.

For a while, Abs was ubiquitous. He appeared on Saturday night entertainment shows – including that thing with Ant and Dec – and she vaguely remembered seeing him in something on Channel 5. He was all over papers, magazines and the internet; his amiable grin was familiar from adverts and sponsorship deals. For a short while, there was nowhere you could go without seeing Abs grinning at you from posters and billboards.