I fought alongside the ragged crew that I’d brought up from below. It seemed that the battle would never end until the unimaginable happened. The ships disengaged. The enemy stopped firing, turned, and left.

Cheering erupted on the ship. I turned to look at José, but he stood at the helm, solemnly watching the Imperial ships sail away.

“It’s all right to celebrate once in a while,” I said as I approached José.

“There is nothing to celebrate,” he responded, not taking his eyes off our fleeing enemy.

“Nothing to celebrate? We chased away the Imperial ships. That has to count for something.”

He tore his eyes away from the enemy to look at me. “We didn’t chase them away. They were testing us.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Anita, they wanted to know how strong we were. They could have easily sunk us but they didn’t. There was no reason for them to disengage. The Imperial navy wanted to know how many ships we had and what it was going to take to defeat us. I’m afraid they got their answer.”

I watched the ships now disappearing over the horizon as I began to feel dread for what was surely to come.

Eleven

November 1839

Of the one hundred and fifty sailors on our ship, only twenty-seven were injured, while five left to meet our maker. To most commanders this would have been a victory, but José was somber. We sailed slowly back to Laguna in mourning. I checked in on him but kept my distance. Sometimes it was better to let a person grieve in private.

Clouds rippled across the sky as we sailed into Laguna, which was shrouded in light rain. Upon arrival the injured were collected, along with any reserve supplies we needed. All of my patients were taken to the hospital, and with no work to be immediately done, I sat down for the first time, among the crates and supplies that were left in the cargo hold. Wiping the sweat and grime from my face and neck, I looked over what remained of our medical supplies. The quiet of the ship didn’t feel natural. All that could be heard were the footsteps of the men topside and the lapping of the water against the hull. A quick rap at the doorway startled me. I looked up to see Rossetti regarding me. His hands were clasped firmly behind his back, his chin elevated so that he was forced to look down on me. “I heard what you did. In the battle.”

I stood up, straightening my spine, pulling my shoulders back in an attempt to measure up to his unspoken standards. “Is there anything I can do for you, senhor?”

“I came to say that you are apparently different from the other women I have come to know.” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “Or at least the other women José has called friends.” I stood watching him in awkward silence. I wasn’t sure if this was an apology or just a statement. Either way, I wasn’t sure how to respond.