“My parents are offering everyone dinner.”

“I’ll have to ask Bell.”

“Can you call me as soon as you know?”

“I won’t have to. What did you find out?”

I wondered why he would ask me such a question – it left me uneasier than I could grasp – and then I realised it wasn’t aimed at me. “He mustn’t have written any of that down,” Bella said.

“Then dad’s aunt couldn’t have seen it, could she?” Any answer Bella gave was obscured as Roy said “My dad wants to know if we’ll be there for dinner.”

“I don’t see why not, do you? It won’t take us even two hours.”

“My grandparents will be there as well. They’re saying they’ll get us all dinner.”

“That’s very kind of them.”

“I think they just want to meet you, Bell.”

As I wished Roy had kept this to himself in case it roused her shyness, Bella said “I’ve been feeling I should meet them.”

“We’ll go then, shall we? I expect they’ll let you say where.”

“I’ll let them know,” I said. “Don’t let me keep you from your train.”

I thought my parents must be imminent, and tried to work on the Bulgakov while I could. Was the feline familiar a Russian tradition? No doubt this kind of ambiguously helpful presence differed from culture to culture, and I was searching online for Russian variations when my phone vibrated wakefully. I answered it before it had a chance to ring. “Semple,” I said.

“Mr Semple?”

The man’s voice sounded consciously official, and the background noise – activity muffled beyond definition – put me on my guard as well. “That’s what I said.”

“Can you confirm your address?”

“I can, yes.”

I assumed the pause meant we were both waiting for the other to make the next move in the game. “Then could you do that, sir?”

“Certainly, when you give me the chance.”

I thought this might throw him off his script, but heard him carry on performing. “If you could just confirm where you live, sir.”

“I’ll confirm it when you say it. I can’t confirm a thing until I know what you’ve got on me.”

I was hoping to have undermined his pretence when he said “Can you just give me the address, sir? Do you live in New Brighton?”

“You’ve found out that much, have you? Would you like my bank details as well?”

“We have those.” With a hint of uncertainty he said “Sir, if you think—”

“I think exactly what you think I’m thinking, and now you’ve wasted enough of my time when I shouldn’t have let you have any. Take my number off your database and try finding yourself an honest job.”