Lijsbeth had smirked in a superior way. Later, when she and Anna were alone, she confessed that she found their mother’s emotional outburst embarrassing. A merchant’s wife should know her place. She should keep her feelings to herself, since it was highly improper and unbecoming for a woman to expose herself in front of the servants. Such indiscretions could lead to gossip and the potential loss of business. When Lijsbeth eventually married, she would set a good example for her own household. She was already practising, training herself not to cry no matter how much pain she felt. Rolling up her sleeve, she proudly displayed the small, fresh welt on her forearm where she scored herself each morning with a razor blade.

‘I cried so much the first time because it hurt so much I thought I would die. After the third time, though, I no longer felt a thing. These are the hard lessons we must teach ourselves, Anna, so that we can be successful wives and mothers. You should follow my example. God made me the older sister so I could guide you.’

She asks now, ‘What about Lijsbeth?’

Cornelis looks surprised. ‘Surely your sister can manage her own affairs?’

Anna thinks of Lijsbeth’s cough, her pallor and foul breath, and the way the bedclothes must be soaked for three days in order to expunge the stench of sweat. She thinks of her sister’s slow, shuffling steps and of how, on the worst days, even lifting her arms to string wet collars across the drying racks leaves her trembling with exhaustion. Who will walk to the market to fetch their food? Who will sweep the cinders out of the grate and haul the wet linen from the tubs?

‘I’m sorry, sir,’ she hears herself say. ‘I’m very grateful for the offer, but I’m afraid I cannot accept.’

Cornelis stares. A line appears between his brows and she knows he is trying to puzzle out the mystery of her refusal. But how can he ever truly understand? He will never know how it feels to be caught between a duty to your family and your own desires. Of course, he must support his children and his wife, since she cannot work, and the boys are too young to be apprenticed. But if an opportunity arose to take on an engraving commission in some foreign place, he would no doubt go without even a backward glance, without even consulting the boy’s mother. It’s a man’s birthright to place himself above the needs of children. And Lijsbeth is now as helpless as a child, as helpless as she once pictured Anna to be. How can Anna abandon her?

Eventually, Cornelis shrugs and says, ‘Very well. I will advise Crispijn of your decision.’

He takes up a quill and a piece of parchment.