Cover

ALSO BY OWEN LAUKKANEN

The Professionals

Criminal Enterprise

Kill Fee

The Stolen Ones

The Watcher in the Wall

The Forgotten Girls

Gale Force

Deception Cove Series

Deception Cove

Lone Jack Trail

Dedication

To Jay and Uncle Darren, who are always down for a wilderness misadventure

Chapter 1

THIS IS THE STORY of a messed-up girl and how her family paid people to send her into the wilderness with a bunch of other messed-up kids in hopes it would somehow make them less messed up.

This is a real thing that happens.

It might even be an eventuality your parents have considered for you.

But this is the story of what happens when things

go

wrong.

Chapter 2

MEET DAWN. Dawn is the aforementioned messed-up girl. She’ll be the protagonist and de facto audience surrogate for this little misadventure.

Dawn is seventeen years old and mostly normal. She lives in Sacramento with a drug dealer named Julian, who is roughly twice her age.

This is a continued point of contention between Dawn and her mother, Wendy. Wendy would prefer that Dawn not live with a drug dealer. She’d prefer that Dawn, you know, go to school and not just get high all the time and sneak into clubs.

She’d prefer that Dawn be at home, where Wendy and Dawn’s younger brother, Bryce, live with Dawn’s stepdad, Cam.

Dawn loves her brother.

She mostly loves her mom.

Dawn does not love Cam. Dawn resents Cam and hates that her mother fell in love with him. Her father’s only been gone for two years, and it’s too soon to be talking replacements.

Dawn can’t stand to be near Cam. It makes her feel like she’s betraying her dad. It drives her insane that nobody else sees it that way. That her mother could move on so quickly.

That’s why she’s staying with Julian.

And that’s why she spends her days mostly wasted.

Chapter 3

THE CAM/WENDY/DAWN THING has been an ongoing saga. You don’t need to know the gory details, but suffice it to say, it’s been a lot of screaming and hurt feelings.

It’s been a lot of self-medicating and not going to class.

It’s been a lot of Julian.

Cam and Wendy have been trying to get Dawn to come home. Go to school. Be high less. See less Julian. Be more normal.

Cam and Wendy have failed miserably so far.

But Cam and Wendy have one more bullet to fire.

It’s their last resort.

And it’s going to royally fuck up Dawn’s day.

Chapter 4

WHAT IT IS, is a straight-up kidnapping.

Cam and Wendy show up at Julian’s place at sunset. Dawn and Julian are on Julian’s couch, watching cartoons but not really, when Cam knocks on the door. Dawn is too high to get off the couch; she lets Julian answer, hears the door open, hears voices:

Julian, someone else, Julian again.

Then Julian’s back, scratching his head and not looking at Dawn.

“It’s your stepdad,” Julian says. “He says if you don’t go talk to him, he’s calling the cops.”

From the way Cam’s face twitches when he sees her, Dawn knows she must look like shit. She hasn’t showered since whenever, her hair’s a disaster, she’s wearing one of Julian’s Lords of Gastown T-shirts like a dress.

“What do you want?” she asks her stepdad. Looks past him and sees Wendy standing by the minivan, arms folded across her chest, looking anywhere but at the house.

(Dawn briefly wonders where Bryce is, then decides she’s glad he isn’t here. She doesn’t love the thought of her little brother seeing her like this.)

Cam sets his jaw like he’s been rehearsing this moment. He probably has.

(He’s probably not a bad guy, Cam. I mean, it’s not his fault that Dawn’s dad is dead. Cam’s an accountant, and mostly harmless, and Dawn might actually like him if he were, you know, her teacher or something and not someone who acted like he was entitled to any authority over her whatsoever.)

“I need you to come with us, Dawn,” Cam says. “It’s time to go.”

Dawn rolls her eyes, like she always does when Cam starts down this road. “I’m not going anywhere with you, Cam,” she tells him. “And you can’t make me.”

Cam stares at her. Mouth opening and closing like whatever he rehearsed, it didn’t get this far.

Then Julian shows up behind Dawn. “I think you should go,” he tells her.

Dawn spins, like WTF? Julian shrugs. Cam’s looking at Julian like he wants to punch him, but he won’t—

(Julian’s twice his size).

Cam just nods instead, like Listen to the man. “Nobody wants the police involved, Dawn,” he says.

Cam has a point. Julian knows this.

Dawn knows it, too.

If the police show up, they’ll find Julian’s stash of pills. They’ll find Julian, and they’ll find Dawn.

Julian doesn’t want any part of this, obviously.

So Julian’s turned traitor.

Julian’s practically shoving Dawn out the front door.

Go with your parents, Dawn.

GTFO.

So Dawn doesn’t put up too much of a fuss. This has happened before. She’s thinking Cam and Wendy will pile her into that minivan and just take her home, like they always do.

She’s thinking this is just another bullshit power move by Cam to prove he’s cut out to be her father, and she’ll endure it for a couple of days on the absolute outside and then she’ll sneak off again and do what she wants.

And this time she’ll make sure Cam and Wendy can’t find her.

This is what Dawn is thinking.

It’s what she’s expecting.

But Dawn is wrong.

Cam takes her to the airport.

Chapter 5

“THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY this is legal.”

In the airplane seat beside Dawn, Wendy says nothing. She hasn’t said much the whole plane ride, won’t even answer Dawn’s questions.

(Like, why are we on a plane?)

(Why isn’t Cam coming?)

(Why did you pack me a bag?)

She’s trying so hard to look tough, Dawn can tell. Play the authority figure, the mean mom, but Wendy isn’t cut out for that role. She’s too nice.

But she’s trying to be tough, and it’s clearly taking work, and watching her, it kind of breaks Dawn’s heart a little bit.

(Like, whatever is happening, you made her do this.)

(You made her this way.)

Dawn would never admit it, but maybe that’s why she isn’t putting up more of a fuss. Maybe that’s why she didn’t go batshit and scream kidnapping when Cam dropped them off at the airport. Because for whatever reason, she didn’t.

She put on the shorts Wendy fished out of her overnight bag, watched Cam hug Wendy goodbye and drive off, and then she followed her mom into the airport and onto the plane and stared out the window and waited to land.

And now they’re at the Seattle airport, and it’s nighttime and there’s a guy standing at the baggage carousel holding a sign with Wendy’s name on it. He’s around forty, tanned, wearing a blue fleece jacket with the words OUT OF THE WILD on it.

He shakes Wendy’s hand.

He doesn’t shake Dawn’s.

“Come on,” he says. “I’m parked in the lot.”

Chapter 6

THE FLEECE GUY’S NAME IS STEVE. He has a white van with the same words as his jacket written on the side.

OUT OF THE WILD.

Steve throws Dawn’s bag in the back of the van. Then he turns back to Wendy. “This usually takes about two to three months,” he tells her. “Depending on the kid. You need a ride to your hotel?”

Wendy shakes her head. Says something about a shuttle bus.

“Okay.” Steve shakes her hand again. “We’ll be in touch.”

Dawn’s wondering if she’s still high or just half-asleep. Can’t process what’s happening. Then Wendy’s hugging her. Telling her she loves her.

She can’t look Dawn in the eyes.

Then Wendy’s walking away and Steve’s opening the passenger door of the van and he’s gesturing to Dawn to get in.

“It’s just you and me, kid,” he tells Dawn. “Your mom ain’t coming back.”

Dawn doesn’t run.

She thinks about running, but where would she go? She’s in Seattle, for God’s sake. And even her mom wants nothing to do with her.

Anyway, Dawn’s maybe a little bit curious. So far, nobody’s told her shit.

She gets in the van with Steve.

It’s a mistake.

Chapter 7

STEVE PLAYS THE RADIO while he’s driving. Something old and annoying. He drives for a long time, out of the city and into dark countryside. The road winds and climbs into foothills and mountains. Steve doesn’t stop at any stop signs for Dawn to jump out. He doesn’t pull over for gas or so she can pee.

“Where are you taking me?” Dawn asks him.

Steve glances across at her. He’s whistling along with the music, and it’s annoying as fuck. “You’ll see when we get there,” he tells her. He doesn’t elaborate.

They drive for a long time. Eventually, they stop.

There turns out to be a couple of ugly little buildings at the end of a long gravel road. There’s a bright-yellow light on a pole between them, a dimmer light on in a window. A sign by the window reads PARENTS THIS WAY.

Steve parks the van. Turns it off. Climbs out and walks around to Dawn’s door and waits as she climbs out and looks around. “Come on,” he tells her, starting toward the building with the light on in the window.

Dawn doesn’t follow. She’s still looking around. Peering into the darkness at the edge of the light, wondering what would happen if she ran, like, now.

Steve reads her mind. “We’d get you back,” he tells her. “Or we wouldn’t. And believe me, you’d wish we did.”

He gestures to the building again. “Come on.”

Dawn follows him.

Chapter 8

“GOT A NEW BEAR CUB for you, Tanya.”

There’s a woman in the building, sitting at a desk behind an old computer monitor. She’s younger than Steve. Her hair’s pulled up underneath a baseball cap. The cap says OUT OF THE WILD, too. Just like Steve’s jacket.

Just like the van.

Tanya stands as Dawn enters the room. She gives Dawn a look, head to toe. “Okay,” she says, apparently satisfied. “Come with me.”

Dawn glances back at Steve, but he’s over at the desk pretending to ignore her. So Dawn follows Tanya deeper into the building. Into an empty room, a bright-white light, no windows. A table and two chairs. A pile of junk in one corner, straps and rope and what looks like a tarp. Dawn stares at the pile of junk. When she looks back, Tanya’s snapping on rubber gloves.

(What the fuck?)

“Welcome to Out of the Wild,” Tanya says. “We’re America’s number one wilderness therapy program for troubled youth. Your parents signed you up because they think we can help you.”

(What the fuck?)

“From this moment on, you’re one of our Bear Cubs,” Tanya continues. “You’ll remain in the program until you reach Grizzly status. You’ll work hard for that status. You’ll learn responsibility and respect. You’ll learn how to survive in the wild.”

“Okay,” Dawn says. “What in the actual fuck.”

Tanya ditches the spiel. Looks Dawn in the eye. “You’re here because people care about you, Dawn, and because our program works. By the time you walk out of here, you’ll be a whole different person.”

Dawn wants to slap her. This feels like a dream. “You’re completely nuts,” she tells Tanya, “if you think I’m doing any of this. Those people who supposedly care about me? They’re the reason I’m so fucked up in the first place.

“I want to go home,” she says.

But Tanya is unfazed. “You’ll go home when you graduate,” she tells Dawn. “Not a minute before. Believe me, it’s easier if you just accept it.”

She checks her rubber gloves.

“Nothing from the outside world is allowed past this point,” she says. “Strip.”

What happens next is too demeaning to talk about. Suffice it to say, Dawn walks out of that shitty little room without the clothes she walked in with, without her phone, and with Tanya satisfied she’s not holding any of Julian’s stash.

“Bear Cubs wear yellow,” Tanya tells Dawn, handing her a pair of cargo pants and a yellow T-shirt. “So we can find you better if you lose the rest of the Pack.”

“What the hell is the Pack?” Dawn asks. “Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll figure it all out soon enough,” Tanya replies. Then she gestures to the pile of junk in the corner. “That’s the rest of your supplies. We leave it to you to figure out how to transport it.”

Dawn stares at the pile of junk. Can’t really make sense of it.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes to take you to camp,” Tanya tells her. “Good luck.”

THE CONTENTS OF DAWN’S PILE OF JUNK:

1. Tarp
2. Wool blanket (scratchy)
3. Parachute cord (20 feet)
4. Assorted straps
5. Sleeping bag
6. Sleeping pad
7. Underwear, two pairs (ugly)
8. Socks, two pairs
9. Yellow T-shirt
10. Yellow fleece
11. Rain shell
12. Waterproof pants
13. Matches
14. Cup
15. Bowl
16. Spork
17. Rice (1 bag)
18. Lentils (1 bag)
19. Raisins (1 bag)
20. Oats (1 bag)
21. Toothbrush
22. Toilet paper (1 roll)
23. Book: Wilderness Survival
24. Book: Don’t Get Eaten
25. Book: Out of the Wild Rules and Regulations

“You have to earn your camping backpack,” Tanya says, as Dawn staggers out of the building under the weight of her allotment of junk.

(She’s tied it all together with the parachute cord and the straps, but things keep falling out every couple of steps. Tanya doesn’t offer to help.)

“Easiest way to earn stuff?” Tanya continues, leading Dawn back toward the white van. “Study the rule book. Memorize it. And don’t be a shit.”

Chapter 10

“AND THAT IS HOW I WOUND UP in this hellhole.”

Four days after the kidnapping and Dawn is still in that banana-yellow Bear Cub bullshit T-shirt, still dropping things from her tarp literally every time she moves. She’s still kind of half wondering if this whole fiasco isn’t just a bad dream or a bad trip and she’s about to wake up in a pool of her own drool on Julian’s couch again.

Right now, Dawn is sitting balanced on a lumpy-ass log beside an anemic little campfire, slowly starving to death with the rest of the, quote, unquote, Bear Pack while they wait for the counselors to finish checking the tents before lights-out.

Dawn still doesn’t have a tent. She hasn’t earned one yet, so she has to rig her tarp into a little lean-to and spread her sleeping bag out underneath it. But she’s really not good at the whole “rigging shit up” thing, so half the time she wakes up in the morning with a face full of dirty tarp, and the other half she wakes up freezing cold and damp to find her tarp’s blown off into the bushes somewhere. It’s September and Washington State in the mountains is a lot colder than Sacramento and when Dawn’s not starving she’s pretty well freezing to death.

There are six other kids in the group. Four guys and two girls. They span a range of ages and demographics, but mostly they all just look miserable.

Sullen.

Angry.

Tired.

Nobody talks very much in the group because there isn’t much time and nobody has any energy. They’ve been hiking since Dawn got here and maybe since forever, through a never-ending rain forest and over literal mountains. It’s too cold most of the time and too hot the rest, and there are weird bugs and spiders and probably cougars and bears, and Dawn’s back hurts from the way the rope around her tarp digs into her back when she’s trying to carry all of her shit, and she’s hungry because all she’s eaten is rice and raisins and lentils—

(some of the other kids have, like, energy bars and dehydrated meals and even chocolate, but Dawn has surmised you have to earn that stuff, too)

—and her leg muscles are screaming from having to hike so much, and she twisted her ankle on a tree root somewhere, and she’s dirty and smelly and sick of peeing in the woods and having to wear the same underwear every day, but according to one of the guys in the group, Lucas, this is about as good as Out of the Wild gets.

“It’s wilderness therapy,” Lucas tells her. “Like, you’ve heard of boot camp and stuff, right? Send all the bad kids to army school and get some drill sergeant to scare the bad right out of them? This is the same shit, but we’re mobile.” He gestures in the vague direction of the counselors. “And those two dumbasses would make terrible drill sergeants.”

The scheme, Lucas explains, is you hike around in the woods more or less nonstop, graduating through the ranks from Bear Cub all the way up to Grizzly, at which point they let you go home.

“It usually takes two or three months, sometimes longer,” he says. “I never heard of anyone getting out quicker.”

Lucas is wearing a red shirt. That apparently makes him a Black Bear, though why the Black Bears wear red is beyond Dawn’s comprehension, until she looks around and notices how every kid in the Pack wears a bright color, no matter what level they are. The Brown Bears wear orange.

“It’s because of the forest,” Lucas says. “Bright colors make it easier to find you if you escape.”

“Or find your body if you die,” a girl named Kyla says, rolling her eyes.

Kyla’s a Polar Bear. Polar Bears wear blue.

Black Bears are apparently two levels up from Bear Cubs. Brown Bears are between Bear Cubs and Black Bears, and Polar Bears are one level higher than Black Bears. Then it’s Grizzly Bears, who wear whatever they want, because that’s when you graduate. Lucas has been here for almost a month, so he’s doing okay.

Kyla has been here for three months. She’s not doing as great.

“They can bust you back down, too,” she tells Dawn. “Like, I lost a bag of rice a while back and we had to cut the hike short, so they demoted me to Black Bear again, not like I gave a shit. What I got waiting for me back home? A little walk in the woods is easy.”

Kyla’s here because she stabbed her mom’s boyfriend in the neck with a pen when he tried to put his hands on her, and the judge gave her a choice, jail or this.

“White people are so fucked up,” she says. “Like, this is your idea of punishment, you know? Walking. In nature. Rocks and trees and shit. Shit, I should get y’all’s parents to pay me to take you through my city, try to survive a week where I’m from. You can even wear your pretty yellow shirt.”

Regardless, Kyla has a tent and nice new hiking backpack. She has better hiking boots than Dawn does, and a thicker rain jacket, too.

Polar Bears earn.

So far it hasn’t rained, but it’s Washington State in September. From what Dawn’s heard people saying, it’ll start to rain soon, and it won’t stop until May. Awesome.

There’s one other Polar Bear in the Pack, a tall, brooding guy named Warden. There are two Brown Bears and one other Black Bear.

The other Black Bear’s name is Brielle, and she doesn’t talk much or make eye contact with anyone, but she’s a good hiker. She’s always up near the front of the Pack.

Dawn’s always near the back, always out of breath, always sweating through her yellow shirt and praying for another water break.

The Brown Bears are two guys named Evan and Brandon. They hike together and set their tents up beside each other, and whenever the counselors aren’t paying attention, they crack jokes and play fight and generally cause mayhem. They’re both medium tall and kind of plain-featured and entirely unremarkable, and Dawn has already confused their names at least once a day since she arrived. They don’t say much to her, but sometimes she’ll go for water or to find firewood or something and look back and catch their eyes and know they’re talking about her and it’s kind of creepy. She sets her tarp up far away and generally tries to avoid them.

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