‘I’ve got money,’ he said. ‘Anyway, I’m not hungry. I’m not sure I’ll ever be hungry again.’

He reached into the front pocket of his backpack and pulled out a pair of woollen gloves. He slid them on and looked out over the water.

‘Thanks for the ride,’ he said, pushing the door open.

‘Hold on, John. I want to talk to you for a second.’

He shut the door.

‘I need to know you’ll keep this secret,’ she said. ‘Ray is giving a lot so that you and Eddie don’t lose a lot. You understand that, don’t you? And you understand that if you tell anyone – and I mean anyone – it all comes undone and everything my husband is giving will be for nothing.’

‘… I keep seeing that man’s blood,’ John whispered. He gave her a despairing look.

‘Then close your eyes, John. Put it someplace out of the way, in a room behind a locked door. Then all you have to do is not go in that room. Understand? Never go in that room.’

He nodded, once. There was a good chance he’d tell his family what had happened the second he got home. Soon cops might storm her house and drag her and Eddie away to prison, leaving Lori to fend for herself. But then again, there was a chance John wouldn’t say anything. It might have been blind hope, but hope of any sort had been in short supply lately, so Abby clung to it.

‘Thank you, Mrs Gilpin,’ John said.

‘That’s alright, John.’

‘No, I mean it. Thank you.’

She looked at the boy for a moment, and hoped she’d never see him again. ‘Have a safe trip home.’

John got out of the car and boarded the ferry. Abby watched him get on, then watched until the boat eased away from the island, turned in a long slow arc and headed back towards the mainland. When the boat was a white shape on the horizon, she started the car and drove home.

For the next twenty-three years, Abby lived as if waiting for a bus. She baulked at people who said things like life’s too short and time passes in a blur and Jee-zus, is it Christmas already? Life was long, time moved too slow, and anyway fuck Christmas.

She spent her time driving out to South Hallston Correctional Facility, borrowing paperbacks from the Belport Public Library, working at the Buy & Bye, stuffing animals, smoking cigarettes on the front porch and watching the seasons come and go. Her body aged and the world changed, but her life was on hold until Ray came home.