‘You were curious about your sexuality,’ she offered. ‘That’s fine, Ray. That’s normal. I don’t think anyone’s really all the way straight or gay. But have you ever acted on your curiosity? I’m not talking about looking at a bunch of skin-mags. That, I’d call research. But have you ever taken that research into the field, so to speak?’

Ray’s face reddened. He shook his head. ‘Not until David Stemple.’

Abby leaned back in her chair, almost instinctively, as if bracing herself for what was about to come.

‘Most days I eat my lunch down at Beech Tree Landing,’ Ray said. ‘I park at the top of the furthest boat ramp, eat my ham-and-cheese, drink my coffee. Sometimes I listen to talkback, but mostly I just watch the water. It’s peaceful down there. At least, it used to be.’

‘I didn’t know you did that,’ Abby said. ‘Why don’t you come home for lunch?’

He shrugged. ‘I haven’t been happy for a while, Abby. It’s got nothing to do with you or the kids. You, Eddie and Lori are my everything, you know that. But when I’m in that house, all I think about are the mortgage repayments, and the bills, and all the broken things that need fixing, and all the renovations we said we’d do.’

He closed his eyes and took a long moment before continuing.

‘Home makes me think about work, which is all I ever seem to do. Every day, every season, every year, and our savings account sits at below zero, and our debt just seems to get bigger. And I know that’s just, life or whatever, but sometimes it feels like trying to knock over a brick wall by tossing eggs at it. I’ve watched rich fucking tourists descend on this island every year since I was a kid. They spend their money and we circle like the seagulls and then they get to do what I never have. They get to leave, Abby.’

He smiled sadly. ‘Sometimes I’d imagine the ferry coming in to dock at the old terminal – the little rickety old thing they used when I was a kid. It could barely fit half-a-dozen cars, and there was no lounge or cafe. There were just a couple of plastic chairs, a vending machine and the water. Me and Mum would go to the mainland once a month or so, and I’d sit with my feet dangling over the railing, watching for dolphins. Nine times out of ten I’d see them too. Most days, when I’m eating my lunch, I imagine that old ferry coming in to dock, and I imagine myself getting on it, chugging off the island, on and on into the sunset.’

‘Why haven’t you ever talked to me about this?’ Abby asked.