How he tried to be strong for his men! And if that meant two bottles of juice a day, so be it. But then he was caught paralytic in the First Aid Post and sent down the line in disgrace. No one wanted to know about his nightmares or his panics. He was a label with ‘Nervous Exhaustion’ written large on it. The fact that he was a medic only added to his shame.

What followed was a blur of cold turkey, lectures and enforced drying out. Only his military record saved him from immediate discharge. He was put in some square-bashing barracks in the Borders and told to sort out the A1s from the C grades.

Drew puffed smoke into a ring, thinking of that final bar-room brawl that had landed him in Park Royal. This time he was for it. As he stared at the church and the green lawns and gracious buildings, he felt only despair.

He did not want to be around when the bugles blew the Last Post. He was sick of brass and uniforms and orders. He was ashamed that he had not seen out the last few weeks of war with his men. Someone had shoved a book of Wilfred Owen’s poems in his hand and he had found them oddly comforting. They were honest and stark, straight from the heart. No one cared a toss what was in Drew’s heart, it seemed. The doctors and nurses here were kindly enough but reserved with a fellow medic who would not take their orders. He hated being beholden to anyone.

There was really no point in hanging around in here any longer. Time to leg it over the wall and take a hike south. Pity! He would miss Netta ’s turquoise eyes but she too was on her way out soon. Better not start what you can’t finish, Andrew. Quit while you’re ahead.

*

Netta was looking out for her friend at that first solemn Remembrance Day parade amongst the marching officers and the poppies, the dignitaries processing to the church. She sat in her pew, trying to find his shock of sandy hair and sloping shoulders. She asked around among the crowds who poured out of the service in silence. No one would give her a straight answer. They had arranged to take a stroll but Drew stood her up and she was puzzled.