“I see.” was his only reply.

They sat for a few moments. The silence made her uncomfortable. She tried to think of something appropriate to say but nothing came to mind.

“You’ve done well here.” he said finally.

“Thank you.”

“Your grades and athletic performance have been exemplary. Your linguistic skills are superb. Also...your extracurricular performance has been noted.” She was pretty sure that he didn’t mean school clubs. Her small contributions to the spy trade were likely what he was referring to.

“Thank you.” She nodded, pursing her lips. She was humble. Complements made her uneasy.

“Still...we’ve watched you closely Lena. You’ve had specific guidelines on how you can interact with others here.”

The tone of his voice told her that he was going somewhere with this. Her heart stopped. She had been careful. They couldn’t possibly know about him. It had only been a few months. Maybe she had slipped up on something else. Filed a report wrong, possibly? But the pit forming in her stomach told her otherwise. She took a sip from her glass.

“And we’ve observed a few...deviations.”

Her face reddened. They knew. She had hoped to God that it wasn’t about this. She hadn’t meant for it to happen. He was on the track team with her. They had both been at a hotel and had spent some time alone. He was a quiet boy. She liked the attention. She knew that it was against the rules. Just like she did years ago. When she was sixteen.

“You’ve taken a lover.”

She looked at her feet. The taste of whiskey heated her throat.

“It’s alright, Lena. I’m not judging you. You are human, after all. But still, we need to know that you will be able to abide by our strict guidelines in any environment. This program isn’t for everyone. We need deeply committed personnel. You are still in training here. It may not seem like it always. But you are. And you need to keep a minimalist lifestyle. That means no relationships of this nature. You must sacrifice, lest you grow sluggish. Or worse, compromised. We don’t want relationships to inhibit future placement. And we don’t want to ever put you in a position where you could slip and say something to the wrong person.”

She looked at him. For a split second, she thought of denying it. She could deceive him. Say that it was nothing. But with Jinshan, she could not risk it. Never lie to Jinshan. That’s what she had been told by the others. She must take responsibility and hope for the best. “Of course, sir. Of course. It’s my fault. I just—I’m sorry. I’ll break it off at once. I will do better. I’m sorry. Please—”

“No, no. Lena, this isn’t about a relationship.” He took a deep gulp from his glass and laid it on the table, ice clinking the edges. “It’s about trust.”

“You can trust me, sir.” She saw all of her hard work slipping away. It was a terrifying prospect. She had spent years training to be here. She didn’t want to go back to what could await her if she failed out of the program.