A few days after the Kamanahabba, for the only time in his life, Dasegowda goes to the Kamadeva temple to be with Gangi. She is stringing a garland, seated in front of the temple. Her new seragu has slipped a little, giving just a hint of the rounded breast underneath. Saliva rushes into his mouth at the sight of her. Coming up from behind, giving her no warning, Dasegowda reaches out a paw to grab that enticing breast.

Where did Annaiah suddenly appear from? When Dasegowda ponders over it later, he has no idea. Appear he does, though, and politely stops him when he tries to touch Gangi. Even as Gangi watches them with calm, fearless eyes, Annaiah tells Dasegowda that, at the Kamadeva temple, Gangi’s only duties are to decorate the God and sing to him, not to please every passing visitor.

Dasegowda tries to be ingratiating, saying, ‘Why, even at the Ooramma temple we permit it. This is the temple of the god of desire. It is here that this should be permitted.’

Annaiah laughs. ‘Don’t worry, the god in this temple is pleased enough with what he already gets here through me. He does not need the services of practically senile old ones…’

Charged with the insult, Dasegowda tries to hit Annaiah. With a force that belies his soft appearance, Annaiah grips Dasegowda’s arms and tells him, very quietly, never to set foot in the Kamadeva temple again.

Dasegowda is too ashamed by the insult to his manhood to spread the tale. Annaiah never mentions it and Gangi tells only Ajji.

The unspoken rule in the temple is that Gangi is Annaiah’s woman. Instead of food from every house in the village, the headman’s house now sends them groceries. Gangi cooks and looks after him. For all intents and purposes, they live the life of a married couple. No man in the village, even when drunk on saraayi, bothers Gangi.

9

GANGI AND THE WALL

is first formal relationship with a woman, even one so young, has its impact on Annaiah. He turns inward, becomes quieter. The story of Ramani and Kamadeva gains more force. The focus shifts to the god now. Apparently, Kamadeva is not as impervious to Ramani as he himself had thought.

Annaiah paints in graphic detail the tortures Kamadeva goes through. He cannot show any feelings for Ramani: she is a mere mortal; he a god, doomed to be eternally attractive, to be the god of love whom every woman craves. But he feels inferior, inadequate when compared to the depth of Ramani’s love. Is he worthy of her? What use is it to be a god when he cannot even match the love of a mortal woman?

Gangi is trying to adapt to living with a much older man, one who has lived alone all his life. When he touches her, the world changes colour. It is as if she ceases to be and is part of some cosmic process. Sometimes she accepts and understands his intensity, his urgency. It is elemental and exhilarating. But often it scares her, that terrible need.