“I must point out that if I do not adopt him officially, he will have no papers, no legitimacy. No identity card, and those will be important. We have been instructed to carry them at all times. The government is already talking about rationing, and you would get nothing as a non-citizen. And then what? You raise him maybe two, three years. But you still can’t take him home, can you? And how would you provide for him? I can give him a good life. You know that.”

I did know that. “Just let’s concentrate on now,” I said. “Let me nurse him until he’s ready to be weaned, then I’ll hand him over.”

“All right,” he said, after a long hesitation. “If that’s what you want. I owe that much to you. I will have the items from the nursery sent over here for now.”

“You told Bianca, I presume? What did she say about a nursery in her house? And a strange child?”

He gave a twisted little grin. “She said, ‘As long as I don’t have to look after the brat, then why not? At least you’ll have your precious son to inherit, and I can get on with my life.’” He paused. “Like I said, she is not maternal.”

And so a crib and baby clothing arrived the next morning. Baby Angelo is now adorned in lace-trimmed robes. I had to laugh.

“These make you look like a girl,” I said. He glared at my laughter. He has the most expressive little face. As I observed him, I thought: I will take him home with me now, while I can. He’s healthy. He will survive the journey. And I don’t care what anyone says.

Then I had to talk sense to myself. How could I deny him the life that Leo would offer? The best of everything. And then he’d inherit a fortune. And I realized I couldn’t be selfish. If I loved him enough, I could give him up. Just not yet.

May 12

Having sailed through a pregnancy with little inconvenience, I was rather ill during the next days. I had lost a lot of blood and got an infection. The doctor said I was anaemic and prescribed iron tonics, red wine and plenty of good meat. I still wasn’t feeling up to going out and certainly not to resuming my classes when I turned on the radio to hear that the German army had circumvented the Maginot Line by crossing through the forests of Belgium and had invaded France. The British army was advancing from the Channel ports. France was at war, and I could no longer cross in safety. In a way, this calmed me. Rushing home was no longer an option. I could stay here, take care of my baby in the city I had come to love and be close to Leo. It seemed perfect at the time.