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Chapters (48)
  1. Dedication
  2. Introduction 1
  3. Preface
  4. Epigraph
  5. First Childhood
  6. Chapter 1
  7. Chapter 2
  8. Interlude
  9. Chapter 3
  10. Chapter 4
  11. Chapter 5
  12. Chapter 6
  13. Interlude
  14. Chapter 7
  15. Chapter 8
  16. Chapter 9
  17. Interlude
  18. Chapter 10
  19. Chapter 11
  20. Interlude
  21. Chapter 12
  22. Chapter 13
  23. Chapter 14
  24. Chapter 15
  25. Chapter 16
  26. Interlude
  27. Chapter 17
  28. Interlude
  29. Chapter 18
  30. Chapter 19
  31. Chapter 20
  32. Chapter 21
  33. Interlude
  34. Afterwards
  35. Chapter 22
  36. Chapter 23
  37. Chapter 24
  38. Chapter 25
  39. Introduction 2
  40. Interlude 8
  41. Introduction 3
  42. Appendix 1
  43. Appendix 2
  44. Appendix 3
  45. Appendix 4
  46. Appendix 5
  47. Acknowledgments
  48. About-the-author

Muddy dreams: of sitting on a wooden floor in a long hall . . . of zir name being called . . . of realizing ze hadn’t worn zir gowns after all, but was somehow—humiliatingly—dressed in Father Frill’s golden bells instead. The other children laughing at zir, and dizziness, and suddenly, surreally, the hall being full of flutterbyes, their translucent wings fluttering, their projection surfaces glittering . . .

Then someone was stroking Fift’s eyebrow, gently. Ze tried to nestle further down into the blankets, but the someone started gently pulling on zir earlobe. Ze opened zir eyes, and it was Father Squell.

“Good morning, little cubblehedge,” ve said. “You have a big day today.”

Father Squell was slim and rosy-skinned and smelled like soap and flowers. Fift crawled into Squell’s lap and flung zir arms around vem and pressed zir nose between vir bosoms. Ve was dressed in glittery red fabric, soft and slippery under Fift’s fingers.

Squell was bald, with coppery metal spikes extruding from the skin of vir scalp. Sometimes Father Frill teased vir about the spikes, which weren’t fashionable anymore; and sometimes that made Father Squell storm out of the room, because ve was a little vain. Father Squell had never been much of a fighter, the other Fathers said. But ve had a body in the asteroids, and that was something amazing.

Squell reached over, Fift still in vir lap, and started stroking the eyebrow of another of Fift’s bodies. Fift sneezed in that body, and then sneezed in the other two. That was funny, and ze started to giggle. Now ze was all awake.

“Up, little cubblehedge,” Squell said. “Up!”

Fift crawled out of bed, careful not to crawl over zirself. It always made zir a little restless to be all together, all three bodies in the same room. That wasn’t good; it was because zir somatic integration wasn’t totally successful, which is why ze kept having to see Pedagogical Expert Pnim Moralasic Foundelly of name registry Pneumatic Lance 12. Pedagogical Expert Pnim Moralasic Foundelly had put an awful nag agent in Fift’s mind, to tell zir to look zirself in the eye, and play in a coordinated manner, and do the exercises. It was nagging now, but Fift ignored it.

Ze looked under the bed for zir gowns. They weren’t there.

Fift closed zir eyes—ze wasn’t so good at using the feed with them open yet—and looked all over the house. The gowns weren’t in the balcony or the atrium or the small mat room or the breakfast room.

Fathers Arevio, Smistria, Frill, and another of Father Squell’s bodies were in the breakfast room, already eating. Father Miskisk was arguing with the kitchen.

{Where are my gowns?} Fift asked zir agents . . . but the agents didn’t say anything. Maybe ze was doing it wrong somehow.

“Father Squell,” ze said, opening zir eyes, “I can’t find my gowns, and my agents can’t either.”