I reached for the phrases, It’s OK. I don’t want to talk about it. But that didn’t feel right here. It didn’t feel true. ‘I’m sort of just working under the assumption that everyone is sorry by default. You know? No one’s like, “Fuck you and your dead dad.” ’

That made her laugh. ‘Maybe that’s what I should have done. Kept you on your toes.’

I smoothed my face over with the heel of my hand, like I was massaging something out of it. ‘But, yeah. It, uh, sucks, pretty bad, it turns out. Surprise, right? I kind of just feel exhausted.’ Why the hell was I telling her all this? ‘I haven’t slept for, like, a week.’

‘I get that too,’ June said. ‘Insomnia. Not fun.’

I wanted to ask why. What kept her awake? I guessed there could have been all sorts of reasons; I didn’t imagine that sleep felt too much like death to her as well. Then I remembered: I’d gotten up early the day after the funeral. The flowers. ‘There were flowers on his grave last week. That we didn’t leave. Were you –’

‘Yeah, that was me. Mysterious flower-bringer. God, you probably think I’m so weird.’

‘No, it’s OK,’ I said. An invitation for her to explain.

‘I wanted to … so, you know, I got spooked at the funeral but I still wanted to give him something, so I dropped them off after everyone left. Your dad did … a lot for me. And something, like, happened … er, it’s complicated. Whatever. So I just want to give him something. Anything. I’m saying a lot of things right now but I’m not really sure if any of them mean anything. Words.’

Something happened? What did that mean? But she seemed anxious about it, so I didn’t prod. ‘Words,’ I said back. Wait. I was still supposed to be in class. Which meant she was too. ‘Don’t you, uh, aren’t you supposed to be in school?’

‘I have early release.’ She nudged a rock towards me with her foot. Smirked. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be in school?’

I took one sharp breath, now so deeply rooted in this absurd situation that the previous absurd situation didn’t seem so bad any more. ‘It’s complicated.’ June smiled again, and I figured that was her way of telling me to keep going. ‘I ran away.’

‘Um. Care to elaborate?’

I kicked the rock back towards her. ‘I was having a temper tantrum.’

She laughed again. ‘Oh my God. So you just walked out?’

I nodded.

‘That’s – that’s exemplary. You have singularly done what I’ve dreamed of doing every day for the entirety of my high-school career. They just let you leave?’