But I didn’t feel like turning on the waterworks today, so I trudged to homeroom.

I put a hand on the doorknob, twisted, pushed … but it didn’t budge, which ruined my plans of entering stealthily. I made out Mr Carlisle through the sliver of a window, scowling, but when his eyes met mine, they softened. The door opened with a click.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ I said, just to rub it in a little more.

Mr Carlisle shook his head like he’d just seen some particularly disturbing road kill. He might as well have; I didn’t feel too far removed from a flattened raccoon, brain splattered on to the tarmac. ‘Don’t you worry. Come on in.’

I did, and twenty heads all swivelled in unison to see the perpetrator. Hello, everyone, I wanted to say. Welcome to the freak show. I contemplated charging a dollar to anyone who wanted to get a good, uninterrupted look at me. Come and meet the unfortunate soul experiencing real, genu-ine grief!

But Bea, as always, was not looking.

Since freshman year, Bea and I had been playing this hilarious game where she pretended she couldn’t physically see me and I pretended I didn’t feel like offing myself every time I saw her, and then we’d go back and forth like that for a bit until I considered peeling off my own flesh. But today must have been different; she was so obviously avoiding me. Eyes fixed ahead, jaw clenched – I swore I heard her teeth grind when I walked past to take my seat.

The second half of The Royal Tenenbaums flashed from a projector on to the wall of the darkened room. I had already seen it, so during class, instead of reading the Wikipedia page for ‘rigor mortis’ like I’d planned, I kept my gaze firmly locked on Bea. She didn’t look too dissimilar from when I’d known her – band tee, sad eyes with sharp liner – but her hair was shorter now and pink at the bottom. Olive skin still clinging to some leftover summer tan.

When the bell rang, I waited around to see what she would do, let her walk ahead of me – and on the way out, she dropped a folder. I shot to pick it up.

‘Here,’ I said.

She didn’t even look at me, just took my offering as if it had levitated to her hand, and left.

I wasn’t going to mention it – certainly not to Olivia – but she’d noticed something similar.