‘He knew he had me. That I wouldn’t do anything about it. But now that he knows you know everything, that you saw what he’s like … He’s too smart. He won’t. I’d be surprised if he even looked at me over the next month.’

It broke my heart to think that Dad knew. Dad knew all this was happening, and knowing him, I bet it ate him up there was nothing he could do. I wondered if he’d ever imagined this happening. ‘I just don’t understand how somebody could do this to you in the first place.’

‘I don’t think that boy has ever seen a happy, loving relationship in his whole entire life. His dad was horrible to his mom, and is still horrible to him.’

‘Heath told me his mom died.’

She scoffed. ‘No. They had a messy divorce when he was in middle school. Heath … he gets off on control. I won’t even give you that “I don’t even think he realizes it” line because he totally realizes it. He knows exactly what he’s done. And, like, looking back now, I know he liked me because of that – that I was lost and vulnerable and would have been alone had it not been for him. He always tried to make me feel like I was still that scared little girl in the stairwell.’

‘I hate him, June,’ I said. One of the understatements of the century. ‘I fucking hate him.’

‘Honestly, I don’t want to think about him right now.’

‘What do you want to think about instead?’

‘I don’t know. Something happier,’ June said, a new tenderness to her voice. ‘That it’s over. But also this. And you. And what we’re going to do about all of that.’

What was she saying? For the first time, it felt like this door I’d been imagining for months had been opened and the universe was just asking me if I’d like to step through it – and for some reason, that was harder than I’d imagined. As if I feared taking one step towards it would force it shut. But maybe I had an obligation to force it shut, so I said aloud the one thing that scared me most.

I’d envisioned this conversation happening so many times, but there was one thing that could ruin it all: ‘I’m worried that I’ve made you out in my head to be something that you’re not.’

June was silent for a moment, then said, in a small voice, ‘I’m worried I did the same thing for you.’ I think she could tell, based on the way my body tensed, that her words surprised me. ‘Like looking out of a window of a house I was locked inside.’