Chapters (22)
Bea found me there. ‘Hey. I figured I should talk to you in person, after … you know.’
I wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation. Bea was innocent, which was all well and good except that it meant more important things were at stake and I’d taken the liberty of purging her from my waking thoughts completely. ‘Really. It’s fine. I think we were both a little out of it.’
‘Well, I was then, but I’m not now. And I’m sorry. And I want you to know that I’ve done a lot of growing up! And I’m sorry if it seemed like I was angry at you. I was angry at myself. I should have spoken to you when it happened.’
I knew by ‘it’ she wasn’t talking about the party; she was talking about freshman year, leaving me to be a target, ditching me completely while the world fell around me when it could have fallen around both of us. I hated to admit it, but somewhere in me there was still a softness for her. Little jagged pieces of myself floated away. ‘It’s OK,’ I said, and for the first time, I maybe meant it. ‘That’s all I wanted, really.’
Leo texted me during first period while we were watching Blade Runner.
| Him: | hey. this is leo. can you send me that picture the freak took of you? |
| Me: | Lol the freak. Yeah can do. Why? |
| Him: | metadata, etc. there might be some clues. facetime after school? |
| Me: | Cool Sherlock |
The thought that this could be a lead kept me optimistic for most of the day. ‘You seem happy,’ June said on the way home.
‘I, uh, sort of am. Long story but I met this guy at the support group, and – you know those messages I told you about? We’re gonna try and figure out who’s sending them.’
‘Oh.’
‘You don’t seem all that excited.’
June slammed on the brakes; she’d almost run a red light.
‘Whoa,’ I said.
‘Sorry. God. I’m so out of it today. Just … be careful. Please. That stuff seemed kind of … I don’t know. Serious.’
I FaceTimed Leo around five.
He said a sort of formal hello, lifting a hand to wave and puffing out his lips.
‘Hey. Is now OK?’
‘Now is perfect. So, I had a little look and I did find something, but don’t get your hopes up because it’s not that much.’
My stomach dropped. Not really a huge drop. My stomach stumbled. My stomach didn’t realize it had reached the bottom stair and tripped. ‘OK. Lay it on me.’