Or maybe he had and that had scared the bejesus out of him, so he’d doubled down on all those old feelings, hoarding them close, like a kid with candy, because it gave him a shield and a reason to keep away from people and situations that could wound.

Like falling in love again.

But then Suzanne had landed in his life like a fucking one-woman SEAL team and blown that all to hell. He swallowed. Jesus Christ…

Yes, he still loved Bethany. And he always would in the way that a first love does claim a piece of a heart. But God help him, he was in love with Suzanne St. Michelle.

Fuck. A blaring red warning light whop-whop-whopped in his head.

When had that happened? When? A sick feeling of dread sank to the bottom of his stomach as he realized it didn’t matter when, that what mattered was that it happened at all. And what he was going to do about it. Because he’d already loved and lost once—there was no way he was ever traveling that road again.

“I will always love Bethany,” he said, his pulse loud in his ears. He’d been pushing Suzanne away since the day after the blizzard. Now he needed to shove.

“What?” She gave a brittle kind of half laugh. “There’s never going to be any room for anyone else? Sounds lonely.”

“Being alone and being lonely aren’t the same thing.” Grady knew that too well. He’d not felt lonely these past three years on the ranch, although he had a bad feeling that was going to change. Thanks to Little Miss Chatty.

“Maybe. But everyone needs love, Grady.”

He shook his head. “Not me.” He couldn’t go there again.

“You love Burl. And Cora.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I do.”

And that only made his point. Thinking about how much he loved his aunt and uncle was gut-wrenching. Neither of them was getting any younger, and at some point, they were going to leave him, too.

Damn it, he hadn’t asked to be taken in and loved by them. Why had the universe sent them in his direction? Why had it sent Suzy? Hadn’t it fucked with him enough?

She took a step toward him. “What if I didn’t return to New York?”

“What?” An instant leap of panic caused Grady to take a step back. “Why?” Clearly the universe hadn’t fucked with him enough.

“I think I want to stay and paint here. Make Credence my home.”

“You think?” No. Absolutely not. It was going to be hard enough shoring up his heart and turning his back knowing she was in New York. If she was here in Credence?

No. Just no.

“I know.” She nodded with conviction. “It’s the right thing creatively. I feel it.”