Fuck Del and his moods. The goose had stopped laying its golden eggs and Lester was tired of trying to help Del avoid making an ass of himself. This celebrity ski thing in Canada was so frigging typical. Hadn’t even come through him. The girl organizer had met Del before at some other stupid skiing thing in Aspen a long time ago and contacted him direct, which was smart, since Lester wouldn’t even have bothered showing him such a request. Who wanted to slide about on some godforsaken hick slope with a bunch of drooling tourists who’d all want Del to say Lighten up, Cundie just like he did to his young side-kick every week in living rooms all over America? All that would have been gruesome enough, but now, with the idiotic little town being on every news show in the universe on account of its murders, the whole scheme was crazy.

Lester looked at Del’s back as the actor stared out of the huge window over the New York skyline. Maybe Del was a sad old fuck who thought he really was Bernard Cat, law enforcer, instead of Del Parkinson, twice-divorced crap actor whose future in TV was looking rough. In fact maybe Del even thought he would be associated with the hunt for the murderer in the public’s eye and it would make them think again. Make them tune in and boost those ratings for that tired old piece of trash that saw Del mooching about New York in a squad car looking sad and tough as he dealt with clichéd black pimps and Hispanic drug dealers.

The letter from the Canadian skirt was lying on the glass-top coffee table. It had a photo with it. Lester reached forward and picked it up. Del was in a chairlift with a young, pretty girl and they were waving to the camera. The girl was obviously the organizer and Lester realized he was wrong. Del just wanted to get laid for the weekend. He sighed and put the photo back down on the table with the letter and the six-page fax that was folded beneath it.

‘So go! Get murdered! Just tell me, who else is doing it?’

Del turned round again. ‘That’s just it. No one. I’ll be the biggest star, and I’m going to bleat my heart out about how cowardly everyone else was to pull out. They had that old bitch from Sally’s Army lined up, but she knocked them back when the news broke. Don’t you see, Lester? Every goddamn network news show is out there right now, and next to the fucking Rockies, I’ll be the biggest thing there. When was the last time I was interviewed on network news?’

Lester shrugged.

‘Exactly. Watch me this time. You may learn something about publicity.’

Lester doubted that. ‘What about the piece of ass in the picture?’