I wanted to talk to the woman in the black lace dress who I’d seen lolling about on the front lawn and find out what she’d taken to make herself feel so good. That’s another thing. I was always so afraid of feeling lovey-dovey and sexed-up, because I used to go to beach parties where girls would drink too much and they’d make complete fools of themselves, but I figured I wasn’t about to turn soft and girly now, after all I’d been through. It used to be my worst fear that I’d say I love you in a slurred way.

Luce was like a pasha on the couch, women at his side and at his feet. I went to ask him for more Aquavit, but I fell into his lap and he wrapped his chubby arms around my waist.