I want a flower, Amber said. Cassie leaned over and cut into Amber’s breast. The two of them seemed to have gone into a trance, mesmerized by the damage. I waited for Amber to scream, but she smiled. Oh God, she said again, and she let out another sigh.

I felt a kind of envy. I left them there with the red lights weeping over their calmed bodies.

In Life Skills class, I tried to forget.

Today, the teacher said, we’ll be talking about Breaking Barriers. We’ll be talking about developing strategies for identifying and working toward Lifetime Goals.

Lifetime goals, what a joke. Maybe White Oaks should have a lifetime goal of fixing its surveillance camera.

Our teacher wore a pin-striped suit with a navy blue tie. Amber called her Gloria Steinem.

Gloria handed me a quiz. I’d probably filled out fifteen quizzes since I’d arrived at White Oaks, and each one seemed a little stupider than the one before.

This quiz had the usual multiple-choice questions. Choosing A, B, C, or D seemed a pretty careless way to choose a career.

In the ’50s, Gloria said, women could only be wives and mothers. But now it’s the ’80s and you girls are so lucky. You can do anything you want.

Yeah, we can hook or strip.

What did you say, Amber?

I said I’m really looking forward to becoming an astronaut.

Normally, I deliberately fucked up my multiple-choice quizzes. I’d never check off my real choice. But for some reason that day I decided to be honest.

You witness a truck running over a rabbit. Would you rather

• a. Write a story about the traumatic experience
• b. Help a veterinarian treat the rabbit’s injuries
• c. Organize better road safety to prevent future accidents
• d. Write down the license plate number of the truck and contact the correct authorities

I checked off b.

Cassie wrote FTW all over her form. SKINHEADS RULE, she wrote. OI!

Amber wrote NYMPHO as her answer to the question: What are your career goals?

We watched a video as Gloria marked our questionnaires.

This anorexic man was standing in front of an ugly gray concrete building. Bob T. Johnson, Ph.D., Oregon State University. When you identify your faults, you take the first exciting step in the process known as Change. I swear that’s what he said.

Dude, Amber screamed, you need to eat some dinner.

I need some Change, Cassie wailed. Hey, Gloria, can you spare some Change?

Amber tried to read my answers, but I covered them with my hand.

After Life Skills class, Amber told me she wanted to break into Brandy’s room and steal her Maybelline. I told her I’d catch up with her later. I’ve got to talk to the doctor about my temperature, I said, which was true. I’d spent the night in a suffocating sweat.