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Contents ( 8)
  1. The Time of Your Life
  2. Contents
  3. Act One
  4. Act Two
  5. Act Three
  6. Act Four
  7. Act Five
  8. Author Biography

Joe She’s a nice girl.

Tom She’s like an angel. She’s not like those other streetwalkers.

Joe (swiftly) Here. Take all this money and run next door to Frankie’s and bet it on the nose of McCarthy.

Tom (swiftly) All this money, Joe? McCarthy?

Joe Yeah. Hurry.

Tom (going) Ah, Joe. If McCarthy wins we’ll be rich.

Joe Get going, will you?

Tom runs out and nearly knocks over the Arab coming back in. Nick fills him a beer without a word.

Arab No foundation, anywhere. Whole world. No foundation. All the way down the line.

Nick (angry) McCarthy! Just because you got a little lucky this morning, you have to go to work and throw away eighty bucks.

Joe He wants to marry her.

Nick Suppose she doesn’t want to marry him?

Joe (amazed) Oh yeah. (Thinking.) Now, why wouldn’t she want to marry a nice guy like Tom?

Nick She’s been in burlesque. She’s had flowers sent to her by European royalty. She’s dined with young men of quality and social position. She’s above Tom.

Tom comes running in.

Tom (disgusted) They were running when I got there. Frankie wouldn’t take the bet. McCarthy didn’t get a call till the stretch. I thought we were going to save all this money. Then McCarthy won by two lengths.

Joe What’d he pay, fifteen to one?

Tom Better, but Frankie wouldn’t take the bet.

Nick (throwing a dish towel across the room) Well, for the love of Mike.

Joe Give me the money.

Tom (giving back the money) We would have had about a thousand five hundred dollars.

Joe (bored, casually, inventing) Go up to Schwabacher-Frey and get me the biggest Rand-McNally map of the nations of Europe they’ve got. On your way back stop at one of the pawn shops on Third Street, and buy me a good revolver and some cartridges.

Tom She’s up in her room crying, Joe.

Joe Go get me those things.

Nick What are you going to do, study the map, and then go out and shoot somebody?

Joe I want to read the names of some European towns and rivers and valleys and mountains.

Nick What do you want with the revolver?

Joe I want to study it. I’m interested in things. Here’s twenty dollars, Tom. Now go get them things.

Tom A big map of Europe. And a revolver.

Joe Get a good one. Tell the man you don’t know anything about firearms and you’re trusting him not to fool you. Don’t pay more than ten dollars.

Tom Joe, you got something on your mind. Don’t go fool with a revolver.

Joe Be sure it’s a good one.

Tom Joe.

Joe (irritated) What, Tom?

Tom Joe, what do you send me out for crazy things for all the time?

Joe (angry) They’re not crazy, Tom. Now, get going.

Tom What about Kitty, Joe?

Joe Let her cry. It’ll do her good.

Tom If she comes in here while I’m gone, talk to her, will you, Joe? Tell her about me.