He was angry, yes, but she saw his pain, too, as clear as day. She’d spoken to hurt him, because he had burst through her carefully built wall. Her words had cut deep. She wished she could take them back. Matt had once been her only true friend. Everyone loved Chris, because he was that kind of guy. She and Chris had friends because of him, not her. She didn’t know how to communicate with people in any depth. She didn’t want to. Everything seemed so...fake, superficial. Almost unreal, as if she were watching every interaction from above.

Matt understood her, they’d trained together, they’d worked cases together, and best, Chris respected their friendship. It had been Chris’s idea to ask Matt to be their daughter Elizabeth’s godfather. And now Matt and Chris were still close and she was on the periphery again. As she had been her entire life. Trapped by her own personality, by her isolation. Watching the world turn without her.

“You wrote the profile on the Triple Killer, Catherine. I need you on this case. I will be sending you an update when I get to Spokane, as soon as I get something from the locals. I’ll send you the autopsy report, victimology, photos.”

She didn’t say anything.

“I want you as part of this team for many reasons. First, you’re the best. Second, I don’t believe you can put your successful career aside and go into private practice to help people quit smoking or forgive their parents for being cold bastards. But mostly, because I know you want to be home with Chris and Lizzy. But you can’t be there all the time—it’s as if the good in your life is too good and you have to immerse yourself in the dark in order to enjoy the light. This job will give you exactly what you need.”

Matt walked to the door, but he didn’t leave.

Please go, Matt.

But she just stared at his back, because she knew he was right. And she was sorry she’d hurt him.

“You don’t even have to come out to the West Coast, Catherine,” he said quietly, “but I need you. The victims need you. This killer isn’t going to stop. He’s going to kill again, and if you don’t help me stop him, he’s going to get away with it.” Matt turned and looked at her. The anger was gone, and all that remained was sorrow.

Apologize, Catherine. Tell him you didn’t mean it.

She sensed he wanted to say something more, and she found herself wanting to know what it was—because this was one of those rare moments that she couldn’t predict what someone was thinking. What someone was going to say.

Matt didn’t say anything.

Instead, he walked out.

And just like that, Catherine realized she may have lost her only real friend in the entire world.

Isn’t that what you wanted?

Maybe in that moment, but not anymore.

Catherine felt lost, torn over her career, her marriage, her friendships.