Once again she stopped writing, for her last few words were a lie. A few weeks ago Ella had made a surprise visit to Darmstadt to tell their father that she was finally converting to Orthodoxy. That announcement alone had shocked Alicky to the depths of her being, but it hadn’t been Ella’s only bombshell.

When they had been alone together, Ella had said urgently, ‘Nicky has asked me to tell you he still loves you very, very much, Alicky; that you are the dream and the hope he lives for every day. You mustn’t give up hope of marrying him, for although his parents are as opposed as ever to the thought of you as his bride, Sergei is constantly trying to persuade them to change their minds. He wants to make them see what a wonderful Tsarina you would one day make.’

Alicky’s response had been to clasp her hands tightly together in her lap. ‘Even if they do change their minds about me, I can’t abandon my religion for Orthodoxy. I just can’t do it, Ella. I can’t. I can’t.’

Ella, always infinitely loving and patient, had said gently, ‘It really isn’t such a dreadful thing to do, Alicky. Orthodoxy and Lutheranism have lots of things in common, and I truly believe Orthodoxy would be far better suited to your highly religious, highly emotional temperament.’

Alicky had been about to tell Ella of the sacred promise she had made to their mama when Ella said, ‘Unless you begin thinking differently, Alicky, you will lose Nicky.’

‘No, I won’t.’ Her response had been immediate and without a shred of doubt. ‘Nicky and I are soulmates. We will be soulmates forever and ever.’

Forced to play her last card, Ella said, ‘Nicky has taken a mistress. Her name is Mathilde Kschessinska. She is a ballerina in the Russian Imperial Ballet.’

Alicky had ceased to breathe.

A ballerina. It was something of a joke that having a ballerina as a mistress was an essential requirement for a member of the House of Romanov. Sergei probably had a ballerina, too, but it wasn’t something she was going to ask Ella about. Slowly she had sucked air back into her lungs. What did Mathilde Kschessinska matter, when it was her – Alicky – that Nicky loved? When she knew from his letters that he was going to love her forever and ever and throughout all eternity?

A great calm had come over her and she had known that Mathilde Kschessinska wasn’t going to affect the love she felt for Nicky. What she did feel was sad. Sad that Nicky had become so lonesome that he needed another woman in his life. Sad that even if Nicky’s parents eventually gave permission for him to marry Alicky, rigid Russian royal protocol would not allow her to do so as a Lutheran.