“That’s okay, Sadie. You can only remember what you remember. Is there anything else I haven’t asked you about, anything that might be important?”

“No.” Sadie stared at the top of the table as if embarrassed by her answers.

“Do you have any questions of me?”

After a long pause, Sadie looked up and said, “Why me? Why’d he do that to me? I didn’t do anything to him. I didn’t even know him. Why did he think it was okay to hurt me like that?”

“I don’t know, Sadie,” Andi said.

“I can’t sleep. I feel sick when I eat. My dad had to take off work to stay home with me.” Sadie’s lip began to quiver slightly. “I know he’s locked up, but I still feel like someone’s following me. I can’t stop looking over my shoulder. I’m trying to get back to normal, but…”

Lila wanted to reach out to Sadie, hold her hand the way she had for that brief moment in the bailiff’s station, but she didn’t, and Andi offered the woman no comfort. Was this why Andi lived behind that cast-iron shell? Was it better to keep distance from this kind of pain? Lila hoped not. The job might one day eat her up for it, but Lila yearned to carry as much weight as Sadie would allow.

Sadie pulled a tissue from a box on the table, dabbed her eyes, and wadded it in her fingers. “Last night, I was swimming laps and…I started shaking. I kept seeing his face. I couldn’t breathe.” She knotted her hands into fists and spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m a good person. Why’d he rape me? Why did he think he had the right? And for what—sex? He tried to kill me because he wanted sex? How can people like that exist in the world?”

Sadie swiped the tears from her cheeks with the wadded tissue.

“I’ll never be the same. I can’t be. I look in the mirror and I don’t see myself. I see…” She paused as the anger behind her eyes turned sad. “I see something broken.”

Sadie’s words found their way to Lila, passing through some door she’d forgotten to close. And in that moment, Lila hated Gavin Spencer as much as she had ever hated anyone in her life. Sadie probably believed that no one in the world could understand what she was going through—but Lila did.

Lila had lost track of the conversation but was brought back when she heard her name being repeated. Lila looked at Andi, whose face held an expression somewhere between puzzlement and irritation.

“Are you with us, Lila?”

“Um…yeah, sorry.”

“So…do you have any questions for Ms. Vauk?”

Sadie looked expectantly toward Lila, the wadded-up tissue in her hand, as though waiting for something.

“No,” Lila said. “I don’t have any questions…except to say…things will get better. You may not believe that right now, but they do.”

Sadie smiled at Lila, a silent thank-you. Andi stood, and they all followed suit.