She thought of Hubert Derdon, and of how he had looked at her last night, when he had asked to see her home, and of how he had looked at her tonight, when he had not asked her to dance. She felt she was between the devil and the deep blue sea. The last few evenings, when Hubert had been coming to the house every evening, she had been glad to see him walk in, and happy and excited as long as he was there, but every evening, the minute he stood up to leave, she had wanted to tell him not to bother to come back again, and to tell him that she was not depending on his visits. Every time he walked out away from her into the night, without even a hint that he might come back, she felt like telling him that it meant nothing to her whether he came back or not; but he always went without a word, smiling at her but never giving her a chance to tell him that if he never appeared in the house again she did not care, and that she would rather he never came back at all than to come back and go off again, leaving her with what was worse than emptiness.

She would rather have no hope at all, and know there was no chance for her, than to have to contend with this little hope she had, that she was ashamed of, because it was so little and so timid. She felt that Hubert knew about this hope — that it was little and that it was timid — and that he was amused by it and that he was playing with her and hoping she would betray herself and then, for some reason unknown to anyone, he would laugh at her. And her mother would laugh, too. And her mother’s reason for laughter was not unknown to her but familiar. Her mother would laugh out of despair, because once again Rose had let the side down. Her mother would laugh because her mother knew that sooner or later somebody would let the side down, because that is the way it was in their family. It was bad enough to be not good enough, but to invite laughter was a crime against the family. And everybody outside the house was ready to laugh. Her mother had told her again and again that they were all only waiting to see somebody make a false step.