‘Actually I didn’t. You assumed. And it seemed better that way. I thought it would keep you away. I didn’t want to be back here again.’

She frowned. ‘Back where?’

He shrugged. ‘Loving you.’ The simplicity of the words stilled her as they stared at one another. She saw the vulnerability come into his eyes, the sangfroid dropping away. He glanced back down at her again. ‘Look Lotts, it’s true that for a long time, I wanted to hate you and hurt you; I didn’t think I could ever forgive you for what you’d done. You didn’t just break my heart, you tore it up.’ His month set into a grim line. ‘But when I got the call about the case . . . I had to see you again. I needed to prove to myself that I could walk away, show that it was finally over for me.’ He gave a dry smile and shook his head lightly. ‘Bad move. Really fucking bad move.’ He shrugged his eyebrows. ‘So when I saw that name come up on your phone . . . it was like it was happening all over again. I couldn’t believe I’d actually put myself through it.’ He looked straight at her, the hurt shining like a lamp in his eyes. ‘I wanted you to know what it felt like to be betrayed like that too.’

‘Nathan . . .’ she faltered. How many times had she hurt him?

‘But I’m tired of pretending I don’t love you or that I don’t miss you. I lost you once, only to find you and then immediately think I’d lost you again.’ His voice broke and he glanced at his feet, her earnest academic again, unsure and hesitant. ‘The short story is, I can’t keep doing this. I need to know once and for all – do you want to be with me or not?’

‘Yes.’

There was no hesitation, no ambiguity in her voice and he gave a surprised smile. ‘You can take a moment to think about it, you know. I’m not holding a gun.’

‘I’ve had five years to think about it.’ She sank onto one hip and tipped her head to the side, letting her hair slide a little over one eye. ‘. . . And, frankly, it’s getting a little boring.’

He arched an eyebrow, hearing that old provocative tone in her voice, the past reaching into the present with fresh green shoots. ‘I’m boring you?’

She gave her most bored shrug.

He strode over and scooped her up in one fluid movement, making her shriek with delight. ‘Well then I guess we’ll have to see what we can do about that.’

‘Where are you taking me?’ she smiled, clasping her arms tightly around his neck as he began marching down the corridor with her.

‘Somewhere you’ve never been before.’

‘Fiji?’ she quipped, her eyes teasing. ‘The pope’s private apartments? The men’s loos?’

He looked down at her with glimmering eyes that sent her world spinning off its axis. ‘Let’s start with my apartment,’ he grinned. ‘And take the rest from there.’