“I remember praying the rosary, as I’d seen my mother do so many times, with the hopes that it would calm me—numb me, if you will—as I’d seen happen to her. I sat in this very same church, in front of the statue of Our Lady, her impassive expression maddening me even more. I wished then with all my heart that God truly existed, as I believed that only He could take this pain away. I lowered my head and closed my eyes, resigned to the thought that this anguish and despair wasn’t going anywhere. I can’t explain what happened then, not rationally anyway. As I knelt down as a first sign of humility, a sort of serenity descended upon me. My body became light, as if floating, and an enormous peace took over me—not unlike the feeling you get when you leave a cold building and the first rays of sun hit your cheeks. It was at that moment that I realized that everything that had led up to that point in my life was part of the Lord’s big plan for me.” His fingers rubbed the cotton of his soutane. “I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since.”

He sat in silence for a moment, then turned to me.

“Sorry. I’m known to give long sermons. I’m sure this long outpour wasn’t exactly why you came all the way here to see me.”

I shook my head, confused. I’d always thought priests had blind faith in everything the Scripture said. I didn’t know they had doubts just like the rest of us. Moreover, I couldn’t reconcile this touching account with what I believed Alberto had done.

I sat up straight.

“Well”—my voice was hoarse after sitting in silence for so long—“a young girl by the name of Mayra came by the hacienda yesterday.”

Whatever color he had left his face. He turned as pale as the two candles flanking the metal cross on the desk.

“She claims that she’s expecting a baby. Your baby.”

He slid all the way to the back of the chair.

“I’m not here to judge you,” I said. “I’m . . . human, too, and I understand that the expectations the Roman Catholic Church places on young men are, for the most part, unreasonable.” I gripped Cristóbal’s pocket watch. “I don’t know if you’re aware but Mayra lost her job with Aquilino.”

He covered his face with both hands.

“She’s working for Don Martin now.”

He remained still for an eternity.

“So, it is your child?” I finally said.

“What I told you earlier is the truth,” he said removing his hands from his face. “I believe this is my calling, but Mayra . . .” He shook his head.

I nodded. I knew all about temptation.