Chapters (19)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- The Irish Wedding
- Proof
- It’s Not You
- A Splinter
- Mistress Mickle All at Sea
- Birdsong from the Radio
- The Get-Go
- Robinson Crusoe at the Waterpark
- A Walk-Through Human Heart
- Two Sad Clowns
- The Souvenir Museum
- Nothing, Darling, Only Darling, Darling
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Also by Elizabeth McCracken
- About the Publisher
But she could never tune them in clearly, and slowly the noise behind the newscast turned feral, howling, chirping, shrieking: a forest empty of children. Then she knew they were gone. The radios wouldn’t twist off tight enough. The voices of strangers leaked through, no matter how hard she turned the knob. She unplugged the radios, knocked the batteries from the backs. She could still hear that burble, someone muttering or the sound of an engine a block away.
She lay in bed. At her ear hummed the old clock radio, with the numbered decagons that showed their corners as they turned to indicate that a minute had ended, or an hour, the hum a little louder then. She felt her torso, where her children would have been, had she managed to eat them.
Not everyone who stops being human turns animal, but Leonora did.
It was time to leave the house. The top of her back grew humped with ursine fat, and she shambled like that, too, bearlike through the aisles of the grocery store at the end of the street. She shouldered the upright fridges full of beer; she sniffed the air of the checkout lanes. Panda-eyed and eagle-toed and lion-tailed, with a long braid down her back that snapped as though with muscles and vertebrae. Her insides, too. Animals of the dark and deep. Her kidneys dozing moles; her lungs, folded bats. The organs that had authored her children: jellyfish, jellyfish, eel, eel, manatee.
I am dead. I am operated by animals.
Her wandering took her to the bakery, where every Saturday morning of their early childhood, she’d taken her children, to let Poor Alan sleep in. In the angled case she saw the loaves of challah. She saw something familiar in the shape.
“Can I help you?” said the teenager behind the counter. His T-shirt had a picture of the galaxy on it, captioned YOU ARE HERE.
She tapped the glass in front of the challah. “Please,” she said, and he pulled a loaf out, and she said, “I don’t need a bag.”
He had already started angling the loaf into the bag’s brown mouth. Who didn’t need a bag for bread?
“I don’t need a bag,” she repeated. She counted out the money and set it down. “Just the paper.”
He handed it self-consciously across the counter. When it was in her hands she adjusted the paper around it, admired the sheen of the egg wash, its placid countenance. Then she carried it to a table in the window and spread out the wax paper and set the loaf upon it.