Jess released a tiny stream of anxiety: “I’m scared, okay? I don’t want to get hurt, and I really don’t want Juno to get hurt. She’s never—” She stopped short, rephrasing. “Juno’s never had someone she loved disappear on her.”

River’s unwavering gaze softened, and he took another step closer to her. “I don’t want that, either. But I’m not a soldier or a robot. I’m not here on GeneticAlly business. I’m following what I’m feeling.” He looked back and forth between her eyes for a bit before something in his expression cleared, relaxing. “You’d have no way of knowing this, but I’m terrible at faking emotions.” Jess laughed through a quiet sob. “And I get that it’s more complicated because of Juno, but what else am I supposed to do but ask? I want to spend time with you.”

“We are spending time together,” Jess said lamely.

“Official events and conversations in hospital hallways?” he asked, frowning. “Is this enough for you?”

Could he see the no in her eyes? “I don’t know what else is possible right now.”

“What does that mean?” River closed the last bit of distance between them, reaching for her free hand. It felt cold against the heat of his fingers. He looked around the hallway surrounding them. “This is part of life, Jess. Emergencies and responsibility and managing small fires all the time—but it’s only part of it. There are quiet moments, too. Good moments. Moments when we can ask for more.”

“It’s not the part I’m very good at.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” He unleashed a wry smile.

This made her laugh. “What are you saying?”

“I thought it was obvious.” His grin turned shy. “Really?”

“Really.”

“I want to be here to bring you coffee. I want to take you out to dinner and order the same food and hear you recite the odds that we would have met. I want to hate-attend fancy social events together.” Jess laughed, a surprised burst of sound, and his tone softened. “I want you to call me for help—without an apology already on the tip of your tongue. I want to feel like I can kiss you again by your car at the end of the night.” He swallowed. “I want you in my bed.”

Jess was a little afraid that her feet would melt into the floor. That flames would travel up her legs and burn a hole straight through her. She wanted that. But if she let herself fall for River, there would be no easy way out.

“I can tell you’re not sure what to say,” he said, bending to kiss her cheek. “That’s okay. You know where to find me when you’re ready.”

EIGHTEEN

POPS, WOULD YOU get out of here for just a little while?”

He ignored her. “What’s a thirteen-letter word for ‘old’?”

“I’d say Ronald Davis,” Jess said, “but that’s only eleven.”

Nana chuckled from the bed, where she was drowsily half watching TV on mute.