Not only that—and that was incredible enough—but what they’d said had made Kate’s ears prick up. This wasn’t just a joyride, Kate and Tom were going somewhere specific—namely to the rail yard, wherever that was—and for a reason—namely to pick up some cars. A joyride would’ve been fine, obviously, but this was even better. It wasn’t just fun and games. They were on a mission. They had a job to do.

The glow of the firelight was nice, and it was starting to feel cozy in the cab. The air smelled like hot engine oil: a savory, interesting smell. Everything was made of brass and leather and wood and glass and felt very old, like the kind of place that would usually be behind a velvet rope at a museum.

“I wonder who’s driving this thing,” Tom said. “I mean, we’re not.”

“Who knows?”

Suddenly there was a click and the bing of a bell behind them, kind of like the click-bing of an old-fashioned typewriter.

Kate hadn’t noticed it before, but on the wall of the cab, in among the pipes and dials and levers, was a little loop of paper. It unrolled out of the innards of the train at one end and then scrolled back into them at the other. A message had just been printed on it:

I KNOW

As soon as they’d read the words the message scrolled out of sight and more paper scrolled out with another click-bing. It really was like a typewriter, or a very low-tech printer.

More words appeared, neatly typed:

THE FOLLOWING ARE INSTRUCTIONS FOR OPERATING THIS STEAM ENGINE

Uh-oh, Kate thought. Here we go.

Click-bing. More words.

OPERATING A STEAM ENGINE IS REALLY COMPLICATED

BUT DON’T WORRY, I’M GOING TO TEACH YOU HOW TO DO IT

“Great.” Tom rolled his eyes. “Train school.”

Click-bing.

IT’S NOT “TRAIN SCHOOL”

THIS IS CALLED LEARNING

WHEN DONE PROPERLY IT CAN ACTUALLY BE QUITE ENJOYABLE

THOUGH ADMITTEDLY IT’S HARDLY EVER DONE PROPERLY

Tom folded his arms. He looked unconvinced.

LOOK, LEARNING THINGS IS INCREDIBLY HARD AND UNPLEASANT

IF IT WASN’T THEN EVERYBODY WOULD DO IT ALL THE TIME

AND THEN EVERYBODY WOULD KNOW EVERYTHING

WOULDN’T THEY

Kate shrugged. “I guess.”

YOU GUESS RIGHT

WHAT YOU NEED IS A GOOD TEACHER

FORTUNATELY I AM ONE

“Right,” Tom said under his breath.

I AM RIGHT

“How can you even be talking?” Kate asked, keenly aware that she’d also just asked a fox that exact same question.

I DON’T KNOW, I JUST AM

“Are you like a giant metal robot or something?”

I DON’T KNOW

I MEAN AREN’T YOU JUST A ROBOT MADE OF FLESH AND BONES

IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT

Kate thought about it. The train did kind of have a point.

FOR NOW YOUR ONLY JOB IS GIVING ME MORE COAL