“I would think so, since you’re the one to go and stab yourself, which was why I punched you. I suppose you thought it was the only way to keep yourself from drawing in more Dark. Never do that again. It was rather unfair to Kalen, as he had to carry you with your blood dripping all over him. He’s been guarding you the last two days, and it’s only my wonderful skills of persuasion that finally convinced him to get some rest.”

“I was out for two days?” I felt drained but also strangely restless. I had taken in more of the Dark than I’d ever done, but part of me yearned for more.

“You really don’t remember?”

“My memory has been bad as of late.”

“Tea?” Kalen entered the tent, relaxing upon seeing me awake. He looked exhausted. “How are you?”

“Doing much better, as you can see.” Zoya stood and rearranged her skirts. “I’ll be off now. Althy intends to return to Kion soon, and I suppose I’ll be forced to do the same.” Her voice softened. “I’m glad to see you’re better.”

“You have to ward me,” I whispered, the instant Zoya was out of the tent.

“Tea?”

“You have to, Kalen.” I trembled, staring at my sheets. “I don’t remember. I don’t remember stabbing myself. Just like I don’t remember stabbing Daisy. I seem to lose more and more of myself every time I wield the Dark, and I don’t know what I might do next time. I’m starting to crave it. I can’t risk…”

The bed dipped as Kalen pressed a knee onto the mattress, tugging me forward until I was in his arms. “You scared me today,” he said quietly.

“That appears to be a habit of late.”

“Do you really want to do this, Tea?”

I nodded, my face buried against his chest. “Just for now. Please?”

He said nothing else, but I could feel his runes wrapping around me, solidifying into barriers. The Dark slipped away. I was grateful that he didn’t argue for once—perhaps he’d sensed the fear I had and understood the reality behind it.

I wanted to fuel my body with the Dark until I could lever the world with it. Druj wanted me a slave to power like an addict to opioids. Neither Aenah nor Usij would have dared. How could Druj channel that much power and not succumb to darkrot himself?

Questions swirled inside of me, then were placated as Kalen’s wards did their work. The craving abated, though was not fully diminished. He said nothing, content to hold me close. And for the moment, that was all I wanted.

• • •