At that he smiled. Too many teeth and too much gum, too wide and wild. It wasn’t just his body that was sick, she realised. And he wasn’t just some pervert. If she had to put a label on it, to really capture what she’d just seen of him, she would call him a demon.

‘In sickness and in health. That’s good,’ he panted. ‘Go on.’

‘To, um, give me a moment.’ Elspeth shook her head, desperate to find the words. She’d been doing so well. What came next?

‘Love,’ he said, smiling at her and stepping even closer so that their joined hands brushed against both of their stomachs. The foulness of his breath gave the air an acid bite.

‘Of course,’ she said. ‘To love, cherish and obey, till death do us part.’

Fergus shuddered.

‘Death.’ His shoulders heaved. ‘Won’t part us. I won’t let it.’ He ran dirty fingers over his scalp, circling his palm around the top of his head clockwise, anticlockwise.

Elspeth tried not to stare at the bristles of hair that came away, leaving little oily stubs.

He reached for Elspeth’s hands again. She gritted her teeth against the sensation of grease on his fingertips, knowing she would still be able to smell his touch on her later. Probably forever.

‘Finish it.’

‘According to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth,’ she said.

He leaned into her body, letting his head drop onto her shoulder, nuzzling into her neck. The desire to gag again was a time bomb in her throat.

‘Nearly forgot,’ he muttered. ‘Stupid me. Stupid boy.’ He dipped his right hand into his trouser pocket, and drew out a gold band that he slid onto her finger, nestling it close to the engagement ring, before placing a larger gold band in Elspeth’s left palm, extending his ring finger for her to continue the ceremony.

She stared at the symbol of eternity. Together forever. Always bound. Making herself one with a monster. With a shaking right hand, she took the precious metal band and pushed it, slowly, onto his ring finger. A saline droplet exploded on the rim of the jewellery, spattering the back of his hand. He must have considered it a joyful tear, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close into his chest.

‘I know,’ he said. ‘I know. It’s a lot. I feel the same. I’ve waited so long for this day, and you look so beautiful. It’s hard not to be overwhelmed.’

Fergus kissed her forehead then released her, pushing the ring more firmly onto his own finger and taking a half step back before raising his head once more.

‘I now pronounce you husband and wife,’ he told the roughly finished ceiling.

The words echoed around them.

A gavel fell in Elspeth’s head.

Fergus punched the air. She leapt backwards.