Guess that was our last field trip, Karen says, tired smirk. Both of them late to the library, meeting on the steps to walk in together, ignoring Greg’s stare. Yeah. Sorry it didn’t turn out how—how I thought it would. If I’d known— She shrugs, dropping into her chair, brushing bits of eraser from the table with her arm. Wasn’t your fault. Things happen. My mom saw us on the news, he says. Us? Really? Yeah. She screamed at my dad for like an hour. Karen groans. Poor Erik. Are they still arresting people? He nods. Yeah. He looks out the window. Quiet. Karen crossing her wrists on the table, click of her small watch against the wood. I finished Interior Castle, she says. He makes a face. I don’t know why I asked you to read it. I was happy to, Karen says. I thought you liked it. You marked almost every page. I know, I did like it. But. I think I got it wrong. How so? Xie twisting his lip between his fingers. The whole thing is just about being in love with God and that’s all she talks about, like, it’s not even about being a Christian, you know, doing things, I mean at least Jesus wanted to help people but she just thought. Like. Praying was the best thing you could do. Like that was going to change anything. She was a nun, Xie, the book was written for other nuns, cloistered nuns, not people like you and me. Their job was pretty much to do exactly what she’s writing about. But, so? Why should anyone be a nun? The words more bitter than he means. Karen spreads her fingers on the table. I think she was trying to help people. She wanted them to experience the pleasure, the joy she thought was possible. Don’t you think that’s generous? Or good? Xie shakes his head. It just seems. Like a waste. Wait, being in love is a waste? If you think that’s the most important thing, like, that that’s the point of being alive, then … yeah. She thought the world was evil but she didn’t do anything to change it, it’s like she thought the best thing to do was just wait to die so she could be in heaven and everything would be perfect for her and fuck everything else, you know? Come on, Xie, that’s not what she was saying. The book is called Interior Castle, it’s about what’s going on inside a person, that’s the whole point. She wasn’t writing a political manifesto. Yeah, well, maybe she should have. Karen shrugs. Maybe you’re right. But I think you’re being a little too hard on her. Quiet. In the corner of the library a little boy karate-chops a stack of foam blocks. Do you think she was crazy, Xie says. I mean, that’s what she was, right? Karen blinks. How do you mean. Like if I said. The things that she said, then. You would think I was crazy. Right? Does it matter if she was? Karen asks. Of course it does. Why? Because then it’s not true, he says. What’s not true? Everything. Look, Karen says, if she was insane, then so are all religious people. So is everyone who believes in something that most other people don’t, whether you can prove it or not. Facts don’t convince people. Faith does. Xie scoffs. You think that’s a good thing? No, she says, sighing. But it’s a thing. Quiet. I saw something once, Xie says. Leaning over the table. Hair in his face. Karen goes very still. He presses the eraser of his pencil into his forehead, closes his eyes. I keep seeing it. Her hand on his hand. What is wrong with you, he thinks. That you want only bones, how are you any better than Teresa, than all the ones like her, saints, martyrs, mystics, people who fought only for the right to forget the world, to forget the flesh. And yet. The body belongs to the earth. It is the earth itself. He opens his eyes. The sun pouring in through the windows, hot yellow squares on the carpet, on his back. Let’s just do the stupid algebra, he says, and Karen stays close for a moment, leaning over the desk. Fuck algebra, she says, looking him in the eye. Xie chuffs. If you want to fuck algebra we’ll fuck algebra, he says, and she laughs, loud, head back, there is gold in the air when she does it, not coming from P. but from her, and he almost says, Look.