As soon as he is off the train he is blinded. Gold from horizon to sky. Stumble into it. Erik’s hand on his shoulder. You okay? Xie smiles. Yeah, fine. The city far behind him. Into the car, P. in the backseat. Black sockets in the mirror. Roll down the window. Fresh air. Chin on the glass. How was it, Erik asks. Xie sighs. She washed my clothes. With Tide. Shit, Erik laughs. Xie laughs, too. They eat bean burgers, play cards. After dinner Xie says, I’m really tired. Tries not to rush up the attic steps. Climbs into bed, pulling the blanket over his head. Hand around the back of the skull, cradling it to his neck, as close as he can get, leg between leg, chest to chest. The smell of him. Dust and. Clean. Where were you. P.’s hand between his legs. Xie holds his breath. Doesn’t matter. Here now. Long caress. Black under the blanket. Slipping his fist beneath the ribs, the heart right here. Scooting down to lick the hips. Arm oiled from wrist to shoulder, to ease it again through the pelvis but this time from behind, pillow beneath the ribs, the oil everywhere, spine wet, scapulae, two fingers sliding through the foramen in the skull, steady, delicious. I’m inside you. Yes, beloved. Still stroking. It goes. On and on. P. behind him. Hand to spine. Knee to knee. Are you close. Fuck, don’t stop. Don’t stop. The pressure of P.’s presence, almost unbearable. Why are you like this. So strong. I can’t. Stand it. Xie on his back. P.’s head between his legs. Don’t think. What it would look like. To anyone else. His face between your thighs. Hands beside your cock. Mine. Yes. Yours. Whimper. Fingers deep in the sheet. Turning to lift your leg over the body, come darkening the bone. How careful you have to be, with a body like this, or it will be destroyed. You can never forget, for even a second, what it is, what it needs. Do they all deserve it, every creature of the earth, to be touched like this, fucked, loved, adored, a stone, a sea, a fox, a tree. Can you see everything as a body that is crushed if not cared for, a body capable of ravishing and waiting to be ravished, gently, completely, by life itself.