You can’t convince people to see what isn’t there. It’s too late. So you might as well just pull a trigger. She rips the elastic from the bun at the back of her head, hair tumbling against her collar as she turns away from the fountain. Wait, he says; but someone is coming up the stairs, calling her name. Nova smiles at Xie, furious, eyes bright, before heading for the exit, forearms hard into the crash bar as she spills out into the night, the black ridge of ash trees pricking the horizon, crowning her dark head.

They walk to the car, Xie’s arms wrapped tight around his waist, Leni tripping in the gravel, scraping the toe of her new boot. Damn. Laughing, giddy from the past two hours, the girls talking at a table with a handful of other women while Xie listened, exhausted, mute. Peter outside trying to track Nova down; neither ever returned to the room. I don’t know about you all but I need to get fucking high, Jo says, you want to spend the night? Xie wanting only to sleep, too tired even to think of walking through the woods, he doesn’t say yes or no so they just drive to her house. Filing into her big white kitchen. Gleaming concrete counters, a bowl of green apples. Jo reaching into the violet light of the enormous refrigerator, filling her arms with beer. Xie takes an apple from the bowl. Upstairs Jo opens their beers on the lip of her desk, sucks the fizz from each before handing them around. Xie stares at the label on the bottle. Don’t worry, it’s organic, Jo says, just drink it. The girls on the bed, him on floor, his back against the nightstand. Deep carpet. He puts his hand in it. When he helped his father pull up carpets in California he was always amazed by how much filth lay beneath them. You can’t really keep anything clean. He sips the beer. Hates it. Likes it. Jo rolls a joint, careful, Leni trying to help her but Jo elbowing her away. Stop, let me do it. Licking the paper closed, quick zip of her thumb to seal it, twice. Leni lights the joint. Passes it down to Xie. He inhales. Not coughing. Like he’s done it before. Bitter, sappy. Jo’s low whistle and Leni swatting him on the knee, That’s it. Quick swallow of beer. The joint goes around, no one speaking. By the last hit Xie is heavy all over. Tipping the bottle to see what’s left, skinny slop at the bottom, drink that too. What’d you guys think, Jo says. Should we go back? For sure, Leni says with a sigh. Everyone’s so nice there. I wish we could have met Nova, though. I heard she’s a fucking badass. She’ll be back, Jo says, leaning to stub out the joint, last exhale from the side of her mouth. Xie gazing at the big window over Jo’s bed, ghost of light against the glass from the security beam over the backyard. Leni scoots down the mattress until she is half on top of Jo, leg thrown over her hip. Soft wet sound of their kissing. Xie can’t imagine what it would be like with a girl. With anyone. He doesn’t know why. He picks the skin off the apple, eats it. Leni making a sound like being gutted, Jo murmuring, It’s okay, slow down, slow down. Xie sucking the juice from the fruit. Sour. Like the beer. Thinking of. That picture. Somewhere. Some book. Of a statue, a skeleton, hip cocked, grinning toward an upraised arm.