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And more to the point, she felt nothing for him, and not even a trace of guilt any longer. If she did leave him, it seemed his mother already had a fail-safe option in place. The marriage could be annulled and Gustavo would be free to find a more suitable wife than herself. And Bel was sure that this time his mother would choose the bride for him.
Her father was a different matter. She agonised that her mother would never forgive her for deserting Antonio in his hour of need. She also remembered her mother’s words to her just before she’d died – how following her heart to Laurent could only end in disaster.
And now, of course, there was a new presence in her life that she must consider. She must think what would be better for the little one growing inside her. If she stayed with Gustavo, she could give the baby security and a family name which would carry her child comfortably through its life. And of course, Bel thought, she could imagine the look on Pai’s face if she told him he was expecting his first grandchild. That alone would surely give him a reason to live.
But would she want any baby of hers brought up under the emotionless, austere roof of the Aires Cabrals? The child would be saddled with a mother who would spend the rest of her life regretting her decision to stay, secretly dreaming of another world she had rejected. And a father who was only that in name . . .
Bel sighed in desperation. Whichever way she turned, she could not come to a resolution.
‘Hello, Izabela.’ Gustavo appeared on the terrace from around the corner of the house. ‘What are you doing out here?’
‘Enjoying the coolness of the evening air,’ she said abruptly, unable to stop herself outwardly blushing from the hidden thoughts inside her head.
‘Yes,’ he said, sitting down. ‘It certainly became heated in the senate today. Apparently on Wall Street, they’re calling today “Black Tuesday". The Dow Jones has lost an additional thirty points from yesterday and the Rockefeller family has been buying large amounts of stocks to shore up the market. I don’t think it’s worked, but we won’t know until tomorrow exactly how much has been lost. Anyway, at least my father seems to have made some sensible decisions over the past few months, unlike others. How was your father today?’ he asked her.
‘Dreadful. I think he is one of those you just mentioned who has gambled and lost.’
‘Well, he mustn’t feel ashamed. There are many of them in the same boat. They weren’t to know. None of us were.’
Bel turned to him, appreciating his calm words of wisdom. ‘Perhaps you would go and see my father. Tell him what you’ve just told me.’
‘Of course.’
‘It is almost seven and my bath will be getting cold,’ she said, standing up from the bench. ‘Thank you, Gustavo.’
‘For what?’