The weeks after Raisa followed Amon to his rendezvous were a painful blur, and then the end-of-term exams began. Raisa was too busy to mope, and Hallie and Talia were too busy to notice. But as the Gray Wolves finished their exams, it freed up time for moping. And noticing. The end-of-term parties began, which would culminate in the solstice celebration.

Raisa wasn’t sure what Hallie and Talia had told the other Wolves, but conversations often stopped when she came into a room. Each tried to help in his or her own way. Garret offered to share the flask of whiskey he kept under a floorboard, and Mick tried to give her a clanwork saddlebag Raisa had long admired.

Now Raisa was the one who stayed away from Grindell Hall as much as possible. When Amon was in the dormitory she would keep to her room. When they had to be together, she was polite and cooperative and calm.

She wasn’t angry at him, but she couldn’t abide the bleak and guilty expression on his face, as if he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. Or the significant looks exchanged among the others.

She might feel sorry for herself, but she didn’t want to be pitied.

Once, when the others were out, Amon tapped on the door of her room. “Rai,” he said. “I can’t stand this. Come out and talk to me.”

“I can’t right now,” she said, keeping her voice steady and light. “I’m studying.”

“Rai,” he said again, and she knew he was resting his forehead against the door. “Please. You’re my best friend.”

“And you’re mine. But I just can’t do this right now, all right?” A sob somehow lodged in her throat, and she couldn’t speak, so she sat, fists clenched, breathing deeply, until he went away.

Early solstice eve, the common room was filled with talk of plans for the parties that would be going on that evening, culminating in fireworks. Amon, it seemed, would be watching from the Temple close with Annamaya. He puttered about in the next room, pretending not to listen as the others tried to talk Raisa into going out.

“Come with us,” Talia urged. “Pearlie is meeting us over on Bridge Street. We’ll have dinner and stake out a good place to watch the fireworks.”

“You’ve been working like a slave all term,” Hallie added. “I’m leaving for home tomorrow, so it’ll be our only chance to go out together.”

Hallie was the only Gray Wolf who would be traveling home during the solstice break. Although the travel there and back would take longer than the visit, for her it was worth it to spend the holidays with her daughter.