TRUFFALDINO: I don’t recall.

FLORINDO: What?

TRUFFALDINO: He wrote it on a piece of paper.

FLORINDO: And where is that piece of paper?

TRUFFALDINO: I left it at the post office.

FLORINDO: [aside] I am drowning in an ocean of confusion. [To TRUFFALDINO] Where does this Pasquale live?

TRUFFALDINO: How would I know, seeing he isn’t real … ly my friend?

FLORINDO: So how did you intend on giving him the letter?

TRUFFALDINO: That’s a good question. We were going to meet in piazza [the town square].

FLORINDO: [aside] I don’t know what to think.

TRUFFALDINO: [aside] I don’t either. If I get away with this, it’ll be a miracle. [To FLORINDO] Can I please have that letter?

FLORINDO: No, I want to open this letter.

FLORINDO opens the letter.

TRUFFALDINO: Oh no! You shouldn’t have done that.

FLORINDO: I don’t care, this letter is of great interest to me.

TRUFFALDINO: [aside] Diavolo. [The devil.]

FLORINDO reads the letter and TRUFFALDINO looks over his shoulder.

What?! No pictures?

FLORINDO: [reading] ‘Illustrious Signora Beatrice. Your departure from the city has set tongues wagging … The court knows that you have escaped dressed as a man, and they are trying everything to find out where you are to make sure you are arrested. If I have any other news I will endeavour to let you know through the same avenue. Your humble and loyal servant, Fat Tony.’

TRUFFALDINO: [aside] That’s nice, reading someone else’s business.

FLORINDO: [aside] Beatrice left her home, dressed as a man to come looking for me! She really must love me. Oh, if only heaven would permit me to find her in Venice! [To TRUFFALDINO] Go, dear Truffaldino. Use all your skills to find Pasquale and his master. Find out where they are staying, bring Pasquale to me and I will slip you my generous tip.

TRUFFALDINO: Sì Signor! Give me the letter and I will find him.

FLORINDO: Hurry, this is absolutely urgent. [Aside] Beatrice in Venice, Federigo in Venice! I must find her first.

FLORINDO exits.

SCENE FIVE

SMERALDINA enters.

SMERALDINA: Hey there.

TRUFFALDINO: Hey, sweet cheeks … No, I can’t get distracted, I’ve got to fix this letter … But you look so pretty.

SMERALDINA: Grazie. [Thank you.]

TRUFFALDINO: I can’t look at your beauty right now because I really have to fix this letter … but you’re just so beautiful.

SMERALDINA: I got brains too, you know!

TRUFFALDINO: Does that mean you’re smart?

SMERALDINA: Yes, absolutely.

TRUFFALDINO: Well then, I’ve got a problem, maybe you can help me. What should I do about this letter? If I don’t fix it, my master will kill me.

SMERALDINA: Well, we can’t have that, can we? Let me see.

Lazzo of ‘Re-sealing the Letter’: SMERALDINA helps TRUFFALDINO re-seal the letter, grotesque methods may be used!

TRUFFALDINO: Wow. You really are smart and hot.

SMERALDINA: I know, I can’t believe I’m single.

She farts.

Whoops.

Lazzo of ‘The Farting Competition’.

TRUFFALDINO: Here comes my master, you better get out of here, I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble.