BEATRICE exits.
PANTALONA: A woman?
TRUFFALDINO: A woman!
PANTALONA: Che bello! [How wonderful!] I’m going to tell my daughter.
PANTALONA exits.
TRUFFALDINO: Wow, can you believe that?! I’m not the servant of two masters, but the servant of one master and one mistress! Who would have thought? Hang on a minute, I’ve been duped! That’s not very nice.
TRUFFALDINO exits.
SCENE SEVEN
Outside in the street. DOTTORE.
DOTTORE: I cannot fathom that old coot Pantalona. The more I think about it, the more my bile boils.
PANTALONA enters.
PANTALONA: Dottore, la riverisco [I revere thee].
DOTTORE: I am astounded that you have the gall to greet me.
PANTALONA: I’ve got news.
DOTTORE: I suppose you want to tell me that you have celebrated the wedding. Well, I don’t give a flying fig.
PANTALONA: No, that’s not it, let me speak …
DOTTORE: Speak and curse you that you may be plagued with a flesh-eating cancer.
PANTALONA: [aside] If only I could punch him in the face. [To DOTTORE] My daughter, if you want, will be Silvio’s.
DOTTORE: Much obliged, but don’t bother. My son won’t digest this. Give her to the man from Turin.
PANTALONA: When you know whom the man from Turin is you will change your tune.
DOTTORE: He could be the queen of England. Your daughter is second-hand goods. Et hoc sufficit. [And that’s enough (in Latin).]
DOTTORE exits.
SILVIO enters.
PANTALONA: Che bestia! [What a beast!] [Seeing SILVIO] Oh, here comes that peacock son of his. In Goldoni’s Venetian text he used the word ‘spuzzetta’, which is a bit like saying ‘shithead’. But we don’t say ‘shithead’ because that’s offensive. So don’t say ‘shithead’, okay?
Lazzo of ‘Don’t Say the Word’ (as in previous scenes).
SILVIO: [aside] There she is—I’m tempted to stab her in the heart.
PANTALONA: Signor Silvio, put your sword down, I have good news.
SILVIO: So speak.
PANTALONA: The wedding between my daughter and Federigo has gone up shit creek.
SILVIO: Without a paddle?
PANTALONA: Without a paddle.
SILVIO: Is this true?
PANTALONA: It’s true, so you can still have her if you want.
SILVIO: Oh, heavens! You have resurrected me from the dead. Wait, how can I hold close to my breast a woman who has been betrothed to another?
PANTALONA: In short, Federigo Rasponi is his sister, Beatrice.
SILVIO: I don’t understand?
PANTALONA: [aside] He’s as thick as a log. [To SILVIO] Federigo is Beatrice.
SILVIO: Dressed as a man?
PANTALONA: Sì.
SILVIO: Oh, now I understand.
PANTALONA: About bloody time.
SILVIO: Oh no, Clarice hasn’t been unfaithful. Oh, heaven forgive me, what have I done? What have I said to her? I was driven by my passion …
PANTALONA: Save it, Romeo. Let’s find Clarice.
PANTALONA and SILVIO exit.
SCENE EIGHT
A room in Brighella’s Inn. BRIGHELLA.
BEATRICE and FLORINDO enter, separately, with swords.
FLORINDO: Life is not worth living anymore.
BEATRICE: Goodbye, cruel world.
BRIGHELLA: Don’t get blood on the carpet.
BEATRICE and FLORINDO turn to look at BRIGHELLA and they see each other.