TRUFFALDINO: Ta-dah!

SMERALDINA: Why didn’t you say so in the first place?

TRUFFALDINO: I’m a bit shy.

SMERALDINA: [aside] A stone could fall for him.

TRUFFALDINO: So what do you say?

SMERALDINA: I’m shy too.

TRUFFALDINO: So let’s get together. It’ll be marriage between two shysters.

SMERALDINA: Yeah, let’s get married. Hang on.

TRUFFALDINO: Why?

SMERALDINA: Look, I know this is stupid, but the only way I can marry you is for you to ask my master for permission.

TRUFFALDINO: Fine, I will do that.

SMERALDINA: Good. Now go deliver that message.

TRUFFALDINO: Hang on, I wouldn’t want to deliver bad news, he could get mad at me.

SMERALDINA: It could be a love letter.

TRUFFALDINO: That would be good.

SMERALDINA: Or they could be breaking up.

TRUFFALDINO: That would be bad.

SMERALDINA: We could open it and find out.

TRUFFALDINO: Good idea.

He rips it open.

Can you read?

SMERALDINA: Not really.

BEATRICE and PANTALONA enter.

BEATRICE: What’s that?

TRUFFALDINO: Nothing.

BEATRICE: Let me see. What?! This is a message addressed to me. You always open my mail now?

TRUFFALDINO: Not always, but sometimes. I mean no.

PANTALONA: [to SMERALDINA] What are you doing here?

SMERALDINA: Nothing, madam, the mistress is looking for you.

BEATRICE: This is a note from Signora Clarice, in which she warns me about Silvio’s mad jealousies. Who opened this note?

TRUFFALDINO: Not me.

SMERALDINA: Not me.

PANTALONA: Who brought it here?

SMERALDINA: Truffaldino was delivering it to his master.

TRUFFALDINO: And Smeraldina was delivering it to Truffaldino.

SMERALDINA: [aside to TRUFFALDINO] Big mouth. I don’t love you anymore.

PANTALONA: You disgrace. I should give you a good slap.

BEATRICE: Yes, give her a good slap!

SMERALDINA: Oh! No-one has ever slapped me!

TRUFFALDINO: Don’t you slap her!

SMERALDINA: Oh, I love you again.

PANTALONA: Come here.

BEATRICE: You too.

Lazzo of ‘Beating in a Loop’: PANTALONA beats SMERALDINA, BEATRICE beats TRUFFALDINO, TRUFFALDINO beats PANTALONA.

PANTALONA and SMERALDINA exit.

FLORINDO enters and sees someone beating his servant.

TRUFFALDINO: No more, please!

BEATRICE: There you go, you scoundrel, that’ll teach you to open my letters!

BEATRICE exits.

SCENE SIX

TRUFFALDINO: Oh hell, poo bum and damn it! Is that how you treat a poor man like me?

FLORINDO: What are you saying?

TRUFFALDINO: I was saying to that guy, you don’t beat servants like that. It’s so rude to my master.

FLORINDO: Sì, this is an affront to me. Who is that man?

TRUFFALDINO: I don’t know.

FLORINDO: Why did he hit you?

TRUFFALDINO: Beats me.

FLORINDO: Yes, but why?

TRUFFALDINO: I don’t know!

FLORINDO: And you allow yourself to be beaten? You don’t move or defend yourself? Not to mention the embarrassment you caused me. Did you think of that? Donkey, layabout. If you enjoy being whipped, come here and I’ll give you a good creaming.

FLORINDO beats him with the whacking stick and then exits.

TRUFFALDINO: See, I am definitely the servant of two masters. Now to impress them with my craftiness. I have to air out their clothes.