Then I reminded myself that I was leaving behind all the segments humans made of a day: firstmeal and morning and midday and afternoon and nightmeal and evening. All that mattered now was the rising and setting of the sun, and the weather. To some extent it had always been so on expeditions when everything fell into simpler, more primitive rhythms, but this time I was leaving everything in a way I had never done before; not just notions of human time, but human life itself. For what was I now besides the purpose that moved me?

The thought reeked of self-pity, and yet I did not feel much in thinking it. I did not feel very much at all. The orgy of grief the night before had emptied me out and numbed me. I did not feel desolate or grief-stricken nor anythiny extreme. I felt only a weary calmness.

Maruman and Darga were still asleep and there was no sign of Gahltha so I went and sat on a rock to brush my hair and replait it, half mesmerised by the slow mysterious coiling of the mist, which reminded me of the movement of the clouds on the dreamtrails. I thought about getting out some food but decided I was not hungry enough to bother.

Where were we to go next, I wondered. Logically, we would have to make our way west in order to get up into the mountains, for even if we were not to take the route Gahltha had used to return to Obernewtyn after I had been healed at the ken, all of the other places where one might climb into the heights were west of the hot springs.

The only reason I could think of for the beasts bringing me this way was to put off pursuers. Certainly no one would think to look for me here.

Returning the comb to my pack, my fingers encountered Jacob’s cloth-wrapped journal. I had reckoned on sending it back by ship to Garth, when I had expected to be travelling to the Red Land. But when Maruman had made it clear that I was not to return to the Land or to take ship as I had believed, I had been too shattered to remember to take the journal out. That meant I would never now be able to fulfil my promise to return it safely to Garth.