I knew then that Maryon had given me her gifts because she had foreseen my final departure from Obernewtyn and from the Land. I cursed her and wished that she had warned me so that I could have made my own preparations. But my anger faded almost at once, for what else could I truly have done beyond what had been done for me? I could not have said goodbye to anyone. And maybe, had I known in advance that I would have to leave this night, I would have done something that I ought not to have done, or failed to do something that needed to be done.

As if she was before me, I could almost see the grave dark eyes of the Futuretell guildmistress, hear her highland accent, as she explained that a futureteller did not tell what they saw if the telling would affect the hearer in some adverse way. And then I knew what would have changed if the Futuretell guildmistress had warned me how soon I would leave Obernewtyn when I visited her in her tower room. I would not have merged minds and bodies with Rushton. It would have seemed too desperate and painful in the face of an imminent parting. I would have denied us the piercing sweetness of our loving. I would have left Rushton without forging the precious golden cord that now bound our spirits together. I would not have had the comfort of knowing that one day he would understand why I had been forced to leave him, because I would not have left the truth hidden inside him. Surely even the fact that I had not known that I was to go so soon would allow him to understand something of what I was now feeling.

If Maryon had told me what she had seen, I would have carried only the pain of our parting away with me, for leave Rushton and Obernewtyn and all my dear friends and companions I must.

This awareness pressed like a stone on my heart, and feeling half-suffocated by the terrible weight of it, I wove a coercive net to capture and hold all grief and sorrow so that I could do with clarity and care what I must do. The moment it was complete, the tangle of my thoughts gave way to the intense calm that I always experienced in the moments before a dangerous expedition. I acknowledged that there were questions that urgently needed answering but I was able to set them aside, knowing that they would be answered when I reached the ken.

I finished my packing, fitting in as many portions of Javo’s travel food as I could, and then I went to fill the new water gourds from the jug of water on my bedside table.