I was too weary and weighed with grief to try it immediately, but I swore to myself that I would do it that night. A few hours’ sleep now would be enough to restore me. At least with Rushton returned, I would no longer have to serve as mistress of Obernewtyn and I could concentrate on my own guild. And there was much for the guildmistress of the Farseekers to do. As well as preparing for the expedition, I needed to ensure that I had done all I could do to smooth the way for Ceirwan to assume the role of master of the Farseekers if I never returned from the Red Land. I had no doubt of his capability for he had been doing most of my work anyway while I had been serving as mistress of Obernewtyn, and he was more than capable of managing our guild with the help of Aras and Zarak. I guessed he would raise Zarak to guilden after my departure, and wondered again whether I should tell him in advance that I did not believe I would return. It would allow me to say goodbye to him and give him time to become accustomed to the idea of his new role. Yet what reason could I give for asking him to keep the news secret that would not be an evasion or a lie? Certainly I could not say my quest as Seeker forbade it.

Unless I told him that Dell had foreseen it.

I decided I was too exhausted to reason sensibly. I needed to sleep. I rose unsteadily and removed the heavy moss-coloured gown I had belted over my nightdress, then slipped between my cold sheets. Pulling the bedding up to my neck, I glanced over at the window. The shutters were open and the sun had risen high enough to cast a splash of light against the stone wall. For the first time in days, I heard the sound of birdsong. If my heart had not been so heavy I would have rejoiced and marked it as a good omen. As it was, I closed my eyes, shielded my mind and sank immediately into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I opened my eyes to see Rushton sitting on the side of my bed. He was looking down at me with such a hungry tenderness that my throat ached.

‘Oh please, no,’ I moaned, trying to wake from a dream that could only bring me pain.

The colour in his face drained, but only when he rose stiffly, whitely, did I realise that I had not been dreaming. Indeed, the position of the sunlight on the wall by the window told me that I could not have slept for more than an hour.

‘Forgive me if I presumed …’ he said, turning away towards the door.