But he doesn’t step back to welcome me in like usual. Today he leans against the doorway and blocks me.

‘Maybe later, Clem.’

‘Clem?’ The door is flung open and I see Bridge’s sister Nat staring at me. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Um, I could ask you the same thing,’ I answer, trying to stay cool, but my heart is galloping and I’m scared it won’t slow down.

‘Do you live in the same block of flats?’ Nat asks.

Matt looks back and forth between us, like he has no idea what is going on.

‘Yeah,’ I say.

‘Oh. Right. That’s a relief. I thought you two might be friends,’ says Nat with a loose smile.

My heart stops dead in its tracks. I wait for Matt to defend me. To tell her we are friends. I wait while Nat looks me up and down, taking in my leggings and socks and hand-me-down jumper, which she probably wore before Bridge. I wait for Matt to say something, but he just looks at me, then not at me, and finally he mumbles, ‘Natalie and I are in class together. We’re doing our maths project.’

‘Natalie?’ I say, looking at Bridge’s sister with all the evenness I can find. Nobody ever calls her that, not unless she’s in trouble.

‘Bridge said you’ve been all weird lately. Won’t ring her back,’ says Nat.

And then I get it. Matt must have told Nat about my mum coming home. He’s the reason that Bridge knows. He told her my secrets.

‘What do you care?’

She shrugs, but the meanness has gone from her, like maybe she’s worried about me. That’s the last thing I need.

‘Whatever,’ I tell them, turning away, because if I don’t, the cracks will allow Nat to get to me.

‘You can come in,’ calls Matt as I head back down the stairs.

But I’m already running towards my flat, so his words bounce off me. I reach the footpath before my eyes start burning. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. If I say it enough, it will work. I rip my jumper off and tie it around my waist. My legs are itching to go. I look up at the flat, imagining that Nat is watching me, laughing at me.

Without thinking, I start to run. I make it to the end of the street and I have to stop because tears are falling and I can’t run and cry at the same time. I try to think of every angry moment I’ve had, to make myself stop, but the memories just make the tears fall harder.